parenting teens Archives - The Mom Initiative

Bait and Switch: How to Drop Your Gloves When Your Kids are Challenging You to a Fight

Kids seem born with an innate knowledge of how to push their mommies’ buttons. Especially when teenagers or kids of any age know they are wrong, they take pleasure in seeing just how many buttons it takes to send mom over the deep end. And when we put on the gloves and enter the ring with them it may feel good for a little, but in the end we all lose. We not only lose our cool, but we lose a teaching moment. We lose the opportunity to show an example of how adults ought handle difficult people and situations. …

Is Your Child on Something?

She looks different to you. Her eyes are glassy. Or is that a twinkle? Giggling, she can’t keep quiet. Gushing all of the great things about him, all conversations now lead to this one subject. If she were back in her light up shoes, the strobe light would be blinding as she twitters around the room. It’s like she’s on something. And she is. It’s infatuation. Although it’s not deadly or illegal, it does give this mama heart cause for concern. It’s a drug that can blind our kids, causing them to miss what is glaring to everyone but them. …

How to Set Curfews for Teenagers

There’s no greater DoAhead on the planet than raising good kids. It can feel like a daunting task when they are little but sometimes it can feel impossible when they become teens. One such example has to do with weekend recreation. You know the drill. It’s a Friday night and your beyond exhausted waiting for your teen to get home. Oh, it’s not that you have a bad kid. It’s just part of parenting teens. Years ago a mother who mentored me told me that there are two seasons in which a parent becomes sleep deprived. The first season is when the …

Downplaying Your Teen’s “Drama”

I’ll never forget the day my then 14-year old (now 16) daughter argued, “Well, I’m not you, Mom. I haven’t been abused like you were, but my pain still hurts. And I hate admitting that to you.” I’m not gonna lie, I learned something that day. But even now with a 19-year old son and 16- & 14-year old daughters, I’m still tempted to revert back to showing them how much better they have it than I did (or many others do). And you know what? Dismissing, downplaying, diminishing…dissing my teen’s troubles, though understandable at times, is the wrong approach …

Why Your Teen Needs Peer Pressure

Dr. David Stoop is a Christian psychologist and family counselor and ordained minister. His doctorate is from the University of Southern California and he is a graduate of Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California (also my Alma Mater). Dr. Stoop is an adjunct professor at Fuller where he teaches courses associated with family therapy. I was privileged to have Dr. Stoop as one of my professors at Fuller and have always admired his work. Dr. Stoop has authored over 30 book, and was the co-editor of the Life Recovery Bible. You can learn more about Dr. Stoop at his website. I follow Dr. …

how to talk to your teen girl so she will listen

She longed to be a princess. And in my eyes, she was. As a little girl, my daughter spent countless hours playing dress up and imagining she was Belle, Cinderella, Jasmine or one of the other magical characters from storybooks. It was a time that holds so many sweet memories. Fast forward about six years. Suddenly my “princess” is acting more like a pill. And I’m totally caught off guard by the transformation. Overnight, it seemed like “Mommy, what do you think?” was abruptly replaced with, “I know, Mom! You’ve told me this stuff, like, 1,000 times already! Do I really …

How to Start an Advice Sharing, But Not Preaching, Conversation

There is a painful reoccurring story; you’ve probably heard it too. Good girl falls for bad guy. I can’t tell you how many times I have received prayer requests from moms, broken-hearted over their daughter’s new boyfriend. The type of guy she had always taught her girl not to go for. And her daughter agreed…for a long time; or at least it seemed like a long time to the girl. Then the waiting for the godly type of guy got too long…and she went for what was going for her. With two daughters now 18 and 16, not to mention a son who is …

5 Proactive Ways to Prepare Your Child for a Driver’s License

When our children were young, Daniel and I instilled in them a fear of driving. We lived in southern California, so this was an easy task. We simply pointed out the drivers who ran through red lights and those who cut in front of us without using turn signals. We discussed fender-benders at the side of the road, analyzing the physics of high speed impact. We told horror stories of our own tickets and accidents. Although initially thrilled when 16 came and went with neither child showing any interest in driving, we became increasingly concerned as 18 and then 20 …

Mean Girls Come From Mean Mamas

Standing in line for the concert gave my family plenty of people-watching time. As girls and guys made their way to the back of the line, I pointed out all the immodest clothing. “Why would she wear those in public?” “Oh my! I can’t believe she feels comfortable dressed like that!” I commented as one-by-one they passed us. I must have shared quite a few of these statements because my oldest teenaged daughter finally said, “Mom, you are being mean!” I felt so small. I hadn’t thought I was being mean. I was simply pointing out to my girls how not …