infertility Archives - The Mom Initiative

Am I a Mother? by Holley Gerth

One baby in heaven and having walked years down the road of infertility, I used to ask the question, “Am I a mother?” I don’t ask it anymore. I have the answer. A few years ago a coworker came running up to my desk with a smile on her face and excitement in her voice. “A greeting card you wrote has been nominated for an award!” I asked what kind of card it was. Baby Congratulations. As she walked away, I leaned back in my chair and pondered the irony. Then it seemed God’s voice whispered right in …

How Can Your Family Care for the Orphans?

My daughter Kim and her husband Toby “finalizing” adoption of baby Brandon on National Adoption Day, November 19, 2005 “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” (James 1:27 NLT) A baby—precious, fragile, helpless, dependent, sweet, needy, and full of potential—without a family is destitute, institutionalized, alone . . . heartbreaking. Any child at any age without a home, without a family, without love is heartbreaking. James 1:27 tells the church and every Christian that it isn’t enough to …

Don’t Ignore Infertility But Be Careful What You Say

Many of the mommies-in-waiting sharing their stories in Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey expressed the sorrowful complaint that they felt ignored by friends and family, even in the church–especially in the church. With 1 in 6 couples experiencing infertility, that’s a large part of the population ignored. You probably know someone struggling with infertility, or maybe it’s you that is struggling to be a mommy, or you know the painful misunderstood struggle of secondary infertility. Often we ignore the infertile couple because we don’t know what to …

Mother’s Day: Happy or Hurting

“I hate Mother’s Day!” said my dear friend who is longing for a baby. “You know that women struggling with infertility don’t go to church on Mother’s Day.” Kris agrees, “I was that mom-in-waiting for 16 years; I stayed away from baby showers, church, and friends who would get pregnant. I didn’t stop praying, but it WAS the worse pain.” Lisa concurs, “I am guilty of having skipped church a few years before we adopted my son.” In my book, Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey, my own daughter …

6 Ways to Help Women Struggling with Infertility

Infertility. About one in six women are dealing with infertility. It is isolating, confusing, painful, and can rock the faith of its sufferer. And those on the outside looking in, well they want to help, but don’t know how. Awkward silences and taboo topics strain relationships. How do you mentor or be a friend to someone dealing with infertility? Be there for them. One of the best things a friend said to me was, “I don’t understand what you are going through, but I am here for you.” And she was. She went to doctors appointments with me, prayed with …

Who’s Your Mama

Who’s Your Mama? In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5a I really hate TV shows and books that are about an adopted child being reunited with his biological parent. The stories tend to reinforce an adopted child’s fantasy that all will be well once the biological parents are found. But mostly I am turned off by these accounts because I feel a little threatened. Since I was in third grade, I knew two things. I wanted to be a teacher and I wanted to be a mom. I went to school, …

When You Struggle With Infertility and Loss

A Post From My Blog Last Fall *I was going in for a routine ultrasound, only to learn the unexpected, my baby had died during the week. No heartbeat. “My prayer this morning as I waited for the doctor, was somehow, there would be a heartbeat. I requested she try again for my sake and sadly as I knew, there was none. Even though I didn’t hear one, I was comforted as I laid my heart in God’s hands. Fresh tears well up with each passing moment as I continue to grieve the loss of my child. I grieve the dreams that were attached …

How to Mother When You Long for More

Sun filtered through the blinds as I blinked my eyes open. A new day loomed before me. Another day I knew I was not pregnant and I likely would never be again. My empty womb seemed to mock me and though it was empty it felt heavy with despair and longing. My soul felt heavy too. Burdened with a longing that would not be met, saddled with questions of why, and the pain of apparent injustice. As I shook my head to clear it, voices began to call to me from down the hall. Although I desperately wanted to stay …