Do know you moms who are currently avoiding their children? There’s no shame in it, because sometimes, I feel that way too. Most tell me, “I don’t understand how you can stay home, you have a college education, loans up the wazoo and there are plenty of good daycares in town.” I smile while biting my tongue. Only because I used to be one of them, actually I was hungry to prove to the world that I could do it all. After going back and forth about staying home, God planted my rear within the confines of my home, telling me this …
I Have Hope
“My soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:21-23 It was quiet, too quiet. All the rush of people in and out of the room the days before had all come to an end. The darkness, even the newborn bed that was made specifically to be lit up and warm was completely dark and still. My eyes went back to the unlit lamp over my son’s …
Move, You’re In The Way
How many times have you been forced something to happen in your own strength? This past Sunday, as the Pastor touched on the Lord’s Prayer. He described a story of a little boy who wanted to help his Daddy move a desk across the room. The father began pushing and the little boy braced his shoulder against the desk, and told his father, “Move Dad, you’re in the way.” Daddy of course chuckled and obliged his son’s request.The four year old little boy, pushed with all his might, but the desk would not move. Have you been there? Maybe you’re a …
Forbidden Grief
My children, husband and I were eager to share our lives with another brother or sister during my third pregnancy. Then without warning, our eagerness turned to devastation. Our twenty-week sonogram showed that my unborn son had Trisomy 18. We were told by all the professionals that the best thing we could do would be to terminate our pregnancy. That is when the pressure to abort began. The doctor visits and phone calls to my home were constantly persuading me to end my pregnancy. Well meaning family members also assured me to listen to the doctors. The pressure was …
When You Struggle With Infertility and Loss
A Post From My Blog Last Fall *I was going in for a routine ultrasound, only to learn the unexpected, my baby had died during the week. No heartbeat. “My prayer this morning as I waited for the doctor, was somehow, there would be a heartbeat. I requested she try again for my sake and sadly as I knew, there was none. Even though I didn’t hear one, I was comforted as I laid my heart in God’s hands. Fresh tears well up with each passing moment as I continue to grieve the loss of my child. I grieve the dreams that were attached …
Facing our Fears
What’s a mom to do when her child who never minded being passed around a room of eager relatives freaks out at the sound of a flushing toilet? Are childhood anxieties real? The day my four year old screamed from the back of our mini-van in the Hobby Lobby parking lot, I hoped everyone around me believed childhood worries are real. Fears are not because of anything moms do wrong; childhood fears are part of being a child. Instead of finding the quickest way to squelch a panic, a wise mom knows fears are not only normal, they are the …
Abide in Me
When I am asked, “How many children do you have?” I don’t know how to respond. “Three,” I answer, while I finish the sentence in my head, “…here with me and one in Heaven.” I will never forget my daughter, Rachel Faith, even if the only life she experienced was in the womb. She is always with me. As beautiful as she was at birth and at death, those images are not what flutter through my mind. I imagine her dancing with her sister. I twirl her dark curls. I embrace her, though she’s not physically here. Rachel died at …
Shaping The Heart
Raising strong-willed children is like having an army of toddlers in your home. These iron-willed babes will test every boundary and challenge any directive given. Please tell me you know what I’m talking about, do you have a stubborn kiddo that you love so much but he/she makes you want to pull your hair out? I’m hoping y’all can relate to the limit testing sessions my youngest has been devising since she entered the terrible three’s (Twos were a breeze mamas; it’s the threes we need to prepare for!) She has decided that pottying everywhere other than the bathroom is way …
Growing Up Different
Another crazy afternoon, a day in the life of me. Except this time, we had just picked up my oldest from school and she is still struggling to keep herself together. I juggle her assignments, Elijah’s off the wall energy and Tori’s victorious antics. We settle in for the evening, supper, showers, stories, and bedtime. After I get the little ones to bed, I hustle Chy into the shower. She takes longer than usual, forty five minutes later, she is out, dripping wet and her eyes hold a brokenness in them. She asks me quietly if I would …