My belly bulged and my heart swelled. Excitement tingled in my every pore. I had everything mapped out in my head. Excitedly I typed out a birth plan – full of my ideals of natural birth and no needles in my back. My husband and I took a natural child-birthing class. I read parenting books and listened to seasoned friends. I knew what I would and wouldn’t do. I thought I was a prepared mommy.
Then my stubborn first-born chose not to come. A week after my due date my doctor induced my labor and my labor did not follow my perfectly typed birth-plan.
My first-born baby also did not read parenting books. I thought parenting was like math, with one right way to do it. When you did parenting right you always got the result you expected. Kids don’t work that way. They (here is a shock for you all) have minds of their own. Kids also have personalities – personalities different from their parents or maybe even very similar. (Ahem)
When things didn’t go as I expected I felt sure I wasn’t doing it right. So I looked to more books, more experts.
One expert tells you to hold your baby until he or she decides to crawl off your lap. Another expert says babies need to learn to self-soothe and should be allowed to cry some to blow off steam. Then there are mommy wars like breastfeeding versus bottle, stay-at-home versus work outside the home, public school versus private school versus homeschool. The choices are mind-boggling.
How do you decide what is right for your kids?
Here is what I learned in all my searching for the “right way.” There are as many ways to parent as there are kids. No two children will respond the same to identical parenting techniques. Parenting is a work of creativity and for the most part kids are resilient. If you are reading this article then you are doing something right – looking for help, guidance, mentoring.
The bottom line is God never makes mistakes – ever. He gave you those precious children – whether adopted or natural or children at heart. He knows how those kids will sharpen you and how you will help guide and mold them. He understands parenting requires more than we simple sinful women can give – so He gave us His spirit. Isaiah 40:11b says, “…He gently leads those that have young.” God Himself is guiding us as we mold, guide, discipline, teach, direct, nurse, and love those precious blessings He gave us.
Love on your kids. Pray for wisdom, creativity, and Godly counsel for the rest. He promises to gently guide us. God never makes a mistake. You are the right mom for the kids He gave you. Trust His direction and He will make your paths straight.
Finally remember there is no one right way. Let’s give ourselves and our fellow moms grace – to be different, creative, and parent in the way that is right for our families.
By: Angela Mackey
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