Her words broke my heart. I wanted to cry as I listened to her pour out her raw feelings to me.
“I’ve lost my joy and I don’t know how to get it back.”
This sweet mom was hurting in her marriage. She and her husband needed help. She didn’t enjoy being married to him. She didn’t like the kind of mom she had become and she craved joy.
What is it about this little word that when it is missing we seem to just exist through life? What is so important about this 3 letter word?
I understand where that mom is. I understand her cry. I have been there. It is a horrible, lonely and dark place to be…empty of joy.
Joy is powerful! Joy sustains! Joy protects!
But understanding what true joy requires you get past the worlds definitions and myths of joy.
The Merriam Webster definition is,
“the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires”
An emotion evoked by well-being. If that is what you believe joy is you will be quickly disappointed. Just like my friend who said she had lost her joy, she was seeking the wrong kind of joy.
Joy is also defined by John MacArthur as this,
“Happiness based on unchanging divine promised and eternal spiritual realities. It is the sense of well-being experienced by one who knows all is well between himself and the Lord. Joy is not the result of favorable circumstances, and even occurs when those circumstances are the most painful and severe. Joy is a gift from God, and as such, believers are not to manufacture it but to delight in the blessing they already possess.”
According to this definition, my joy is not based on what is going on around me. It is based on the promises of God and our assurance of His salvation. Joy happens when we are confident that we are in a right relationship with him. Jesus is the author of our joy. According to the world, joy comes when life is good. According to the Bible, joy comes when we are right with God.
I think this is one reason why moms have such a hard time finding joy in their daily lives. You will be disappointed if you hold to the world’s definition of joy. Everyone has bad days. But when we are walking with the Spirit and are confident in his salvation, we experience his joy no matter what happens in our day.
My friend Sue is a great example of this.
Sue sat in the doctor’s office and had a feeling she knew what the doctor would say.
“Sue, the biopsy shows you have cancer on your liver…stage 4”
It didn’t matter how much research and mental preparation she had done before her appointment, nothing could prepare her to actually hear those words. Her mind was flooded with thoughts about her son & her daughter. She looked over at her husband and was met with a confidant nod, “We’ll beat this!”. Yes, I’ll beat this! I won’t be a victim of this nasty disease. God is sovereign, cancer is not!
Sue faced what nobody wants to face, the possibility of not watching her children grow up or not growing old with her husband. But the first words out of her mouth when asked how she was doing were always, “God is good and I trust him to carry me through.” Joy carried Sue through. Joy sustained her during those difficult days and protected her from the lingering fear that would try to sneak in. She clung to the truth that God is in control. Even on days when she couldn’t get out of bed, Sue radiated the joy of the Lord.
Two real life examples of people the Lord has placed in my life at the same time as he continues to teach me about His joy. He knew I would need these two ladies in my life just at this moment. He knew I needed to see his joy lived out while I hurt for one seeking it.
My friend who is without joy; she and her husband are going to a marriage counselor. Thankfully, divorce is not an option to them. She sent me a text me the other night, “Praise the Lord for not giving up on me and my husband! I know we will make it. Please keep praying.”
Sweet mom, where is your joy found? I hope your joy is not dependent on your circumstances, because those will change quickly. When your joy is found in Jesus, it will sustain you on those bad days, protect you when fear hovers close and strengthen you to keep going when you are ready to give up.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:12
By:Dana Bailey
You can also find Dana at her personal blog, A Little This & A Little That & at her website where she blogs about the importance of learning to live in the joy of motherhood at JoyMoms.com.
Check out her JoyMoms Facebook Page & follow her on Twitter
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