Spread the love

Last week we heard from awesome dads as we prepared to celebrate Father’s Day. Let’s hear it for the Daddies! Becoming a father brings a pick up truck load of transitions for a man. In about as long as it takes for a season of Duck Dynasty to unfold, a daddy-to-be may watch helplessly as his lover is stolen away by a fuzzy cheeked bundle who melts his own heart and steals that of his bride.

What’s a dad to do?

One of the best gifts a mother can give her child is to love her little one’s father well. In that spirit, this excerpt from EXPECTANT: 40 Devotions for New and Expectant Moms helps us consider how staying in love is part of the motherhood journey.

A Bigger Flying Carpet

While riding on a flying carpet for two, Aladdin sang to his heartthrob Jasmine, “I can show you the world . . .” When the harmony reaches its peak and the two lock eyes, it’s one of those priceless moments we all hope for. We’re realistic about the flying carpet, but we want to know the thrill of our Prince Charming sweeping us away to show us the world. It sets us both up for disappointment and confusion when we find ourselves too pregnant to fit on a flying carpet and too tired to care about seeing the world. When a baby comes into your fairy tale, the relationship with your prince changes.

Why didn’t they show us that part in the movie?

Knowing there is as baby inside you, made by the two of you, is exhilarating. There’s something intimate and sacred about carrying the child of your lover, and your husband feels the same, knowing his child is inside of you. While the miracle draws you closer in some ways, it may also push you apart if you are not aware of the changes in your relationship.

With so much changing about your body, expectant moms and dads may be nervous or uncomfortable about how to be physically close under the new circumstances. You begin to see yourselves as a mommy and a daddy instead of just two lovers. Passion moves to a new place as you learn how to express your love for each other in different ways from those that came so naturally when you fit on a flying carpet for two. Touching and experiencing your growing belly with a baby’s movement inside may replace the first touching you enjoyed in your unseasoned love. A man must live with his wife “in an understanding way,” (1 Peter 3:7) and a wife must “see that she respect her husband,” (Ephesians 5:33). This is a time to work at understanding and respecting each other, taking on a whole new world of greater understanding, communication, and unselfishness.

By sharing your feelings honestly and inviting your mate to share openly about his feelings, you move through the parenting transformation together. Instead of letting the one flesh relationship that made your baby become consumed by the pregnancy, keep your conversation and care for each other varied. Talk and think about more than just the baby. As you do, you prepare fertile ground for your baby to be born into a healthy family, led by parents who grow together in each season of married life.

Parenthood changes the relationship with your prince, but the changes can make the ride together even sweeter as you experience life together. Don’t give in to the temptation to stay on the ground, insist you don’t want to see the world, and claim it’s not good for the baby. That kind of an attitude makes an expectant father feel like he’s gaining a baby, but losing his lover.

A mother who nurtures a growing, changing relationship with her husband is good for a baby. Like your first season of love, parenting has a harmony all its own. You don’t need to get rid of that flying carpet, just get one that’s family size. Children change life for lovers, but they don’t need to crush it.

Read more about EXPECTANT Here.

By Julie Sanders

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Julie Sanders

Julie Sanders and her husband just relocated from the land of sweet tea to the Inland Northwest. The mom of two college students, Julie loves mentoring women around the world, bringing justice to the vulnerable, and teaching God’s truths for life. Julie was blessed when seasoned moms walked the marriage and motherhood journey with her and is grateful “grace abounded much more” (Rom. 5:20) than her failures. She is passionate about fighting human trafficking and is the author of Expectant: 40 Devotions for New and Expectant Moms. Join Julie at Come Have a Peace, on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest, and don't miss Marriage Mondays. She invites you to contact her about speaking at your women's event or mommy meeting. www.juliesanders.org