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Most of my life is lived in a constant state of heightened awareness. At any given moment I am painfully aware that I could have to drop everything and be in the middle of a medical crisis. Truth be told, that is pretty much true for any of us, especially moms.
Our kids are in a state of constant movement and yes, at any given time, they could get hurt. For me, it is the same, except that I have also experienced this medical crisis too many times.
In 2005 my oldest son woke up that morning for school and he just didn’t seem “right?”. I thought he might have been having a stomach ache, or maybe it could have been from the fall he had the night before from running in the house with his socks on, either way I was not prepared for how dramatically life would change in that one instant.
He went from just not “right” to full blown grand mal seizures and continued seizing for forty five minutes. He was eleven years old at the time and in the middle of that my then nine year old walked in and witnessed every single minute of it. The ambulance came and next thing I knew my boy was on a helicopter headed to the children’s hospital…without me.
We had no idea what was going on or that from that moment on our lives would be in a constant state of heightened awareness. He spent fifty one days in the PICU of the children’s hospital and after several procedures, infections, complications, and more he walked out of the hospital with a new side effect of the trauma his body went through, he would be forever insulin dependent and was now diabetic. We had the best doctors, training and more and had walked the road of juvenile diabetes for almost four years when he started having seizures again.
Just when things started to fall into a new normal the walls of our lives were rattled and here we were in a new state of heightened awareness.
Never knowing what was going on in his world, every phone call, text, or communication with our son started with “are you ok?” and then we could process whatever he was talking about and move on.
Years of doctors appointments, tests, blood work, referrals and more added to the stress, anxiety and worry. Living in this constant state of awareness and always being ready to jump into action is exhausting–not just mentally, but physically and emotionally as well.
We are eight years on this journey now and we have learned a lot of lessons through this, but something keeps banging up against my heart whenever I start to feel the anxiousness of the heightened awareness and that is this — what if we were to “shift” (my one word for 2013) our thoughts and awareness from the issue and put it squarely where it belongs…on God.
Moving the focus from the stuff going on in our lives (and let’s face it, we all have stuff) and resting it on the only One that can do anything about it. To have His peace, comfort and rest would be a blessed reprieve for most of us right now.
Hang with me here, if we lived in a state of heightened awareness of God, then imagine with me how you might feel emotionally? physically? emotionally?
For I am always aware of your unfailing love,
and I have lived according to your truth.
Sweet friends, I know it isn’t always easy to make that shift, believe me, it is still something that I wrestle with almost daily, but this I know — He is in control (Hebrews 2:8). He has a perfect plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11), for your family and He wants nothing more than to shower you with His love (Romans 5:5).
What does living in a state of heightened awareness of God look like?
It can be anything as simple as;
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starting your day with a “Good Morning God”,
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to stopping in the middle of a busy day to say “thank you” for the sunshine, the children in your life, or for any of the blessings you’ve been given that day.
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or even listening to worship music and being fully present in that moment to enjoy it.
I don’t know what it looks like for you, but I do know this, the peace from shifting my heightened awareness from the health issues to God and who He is, has brought me so much more comfort in living life in the midst of the unknown.
Yes, like any mama bear that has a child (well, he’s an adult now, but he’s still my boy) with health issues I am painfully aware that things can change in an instant, but I have peace that no matter what happens my God will carry me through and that is more than enough for me right this very moment.
What about you?
When living in the state of heightened awareness which are you looking for that peace and comfort in the most — physically, mentally or emotionally?
How would living in your day to day world change if you made that shift and were in a state of heightened awareness to the presence of God?
I look forward to hearing from you…
Seeking JOY on the Journey,
Melissa Mashburn
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