31 Days to a More Intimate Marriage

(Yes, we’re boldly going where The M.O.M. Initiative hasn’t gone before.) 

I know it’s not something you hear a lot about in Christian circles but we are thankful for Sheila’s willingness to ‘go there.’

So, whether your engaged, a newly wed, or a mom who has felt too tired, too busy or too uninterested in sex… OR, if you’re a mom who is wondering what’s up with her hubby’s lack of interest in sex, this interview is a definite “Must Read” for you.

And you will definitely want to buy her new book, because in a marriage…sex matters.

1. Sheila, what was it that made you want to write, “31 Days to Great Sex”?

Ha! Because I’m a glutton for punishment. Seriously! I never really set out to be “the sex lady”, but that seems to be what I have become over the last few years, maybe because I’m not embarrassed talking and writing about it. But now everyone thinks of me as The Christian Sex Lady, which gets really awkward, especially when my teenage girls’ friends find out.

But I guess the reason for this book specifically is because I believe that sex is so important in a marriage. We often think of sex as something which is just physical, but God made it to be so much more than that. It’s supposed to connect us emotionally and spiritually, too. And when we feel that kind of passion, our marriages can be amazing. And that’s what God wants for us. That’s part of what He means by an “abundant life”. But how many of us really experience that?

Unfortunately, when things become blah or boring (or even non-existent) in the bedroom, people often turn to the wrong things. They look at how to “spice things up”, or try new tricks, or all of those headlines that are blaring at you from the Cosmo cover. Honestly, though, when things aren’t passionate in the bedroom, the solution is usually found outside the bedroom.

And that’s what this book does. It gives you the chance to actually talk and communicate, and couples have told me that’s actually the most important thing! It’s almost like pushing a reset button on your sex life. You go back to the beginning, you move slowly, and you look at all the things sex is supposed to be–fun, friendship, spiritual intimacy, and, yes, physical fireworks! But it’s that communication and focus on intimacy on a daily basis that usually brings major breakthroughs–not some new sex trick.

2. In what ways can your book help a busy mom find the time and energy for sex with her hubby?

First, husbands often love it! I’m amazed at how many men have actually bought the book, since the primary audience for my blog and my newsletters is women. But men crave intimacy, not just physical release. And having something that prods you to work on your relationship everyday for 31 days can help us with something as simple as fitting it into the schedule, and reminding us how much fun it actually is to talk, and to flirt, and to kiss, and to do all those wonderful things with our husbands!

3. Why do you think a couple’s sex life often ends up on the back burner of their marriage?