Habits….actions we routinely do. Some are good; some not so good. Here’s the good news: you can help your kids develop life long GOOD HABITS. However, give in to their every, “Mom, I don’t want to….” and they’ll have you to thank for their poor work ethic, negativity, laziness, sarcasm, lack of self control, you name it.
SO HOW DOES IT WORK?
Train a child to make their bed right when they get out of it, and that will be their default – their normal. Let them get in the habit of not making it and well, there you have it – a habit of not making their bed. Train a child to wash the toothpaste down the drain after they brush their teeth, and you will save their spouse the headache and disgust of them never taking care of that decent habit. Train a child to hang their jacket on a hook when they come in the house, to put their backpack in the designated spot, to take their empty glass to the dishwasher, to throw away their wrapper, and those will be natural habits and behaviors for them.
But if you decide it’s easier to do it yourself than call them back to pick up after themselves, you’ll earn yourself a child whose habit is to be M E S S Y. Maybe it doesn’t bother you. But what if their college roommate, spouse, or other people whose homes they visit don’t appreciate having to pick up after your child?
THINK IT THROUGH
I’ll admit, I didn’t think through some things that I should have when our kids were little. But you’ll do yourself and others a big favor if you teach your children the habit of cleaning; the habit of neatness, the habit of not just cleaning, but cleaning out what they no longer need; of sharing clothes and toys they’ve outgrown. Yes, I did the occasional, “time to clean your closet;” with one sack for give aways and one sack for trash. But, more often, I was the one sorting when they were at school. I didn’t do them any favors. It’s our routines that develop our habits.
MAKE IT NATURAL
When I was growing up, Saturdays were cleaning days and prep for church days. We dusted, vacuumed, cleaned the bathrooms. We set out our church clothes, Bible, and offering for church the next day. I was raised that way, so there was no fuss or discussion. It was natural. If your children are young, you can begin with the natural daily chores and weekly routines.
I got a kick several months ago, when our son had his little one get a paper towel and wipe up the water she spilled. She may not have done it as perfectly as he would have, but I loved the “natural” behavior he was teaching her. “You spill it, you clean it up.” He directed his son, “Put your cup up,” and I heard a plastic sippy cup land in the sink. “Way to go, Charlie.” He was quite proud of himself. But, that’s family – we pick up after ourselves and show respect for others by doing so.
SELF-INVENTORY
We may need to do a self inventory and see if we’re modeling for our children what we want to teach them – the gift of good habits. If we’re not in the habit of honoring others in our home with cleanliness and tidiness, then, we can start with ourselves. We can model good habits and respect our children enough to teach them good habits so others will enjoy, not resent, being around them. Yes ma’am. We model. We train. We pray. We patiently remind. We catch our children when they’re doing well and sincerely express our appreciation for their thoughtfulness and help. And what they naturally do later in life, they’ll thank you for.
Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal.But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be. Matthew 7:19-20
Heavenly Father, thank You that You are a God of order and have created us in your likeness. Thank You that You give us order. Help us follow Your lead and teach our children good habits. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
What ways have you made habits stick with your children?
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