Parents who experience life in Jesus want their kids to know him too. After walking in darkness, we long for our kids to live in light. We do all we can in leading our kids to Jesus.
How can a parent’s good intentions lead to bad results?
We may push our kids to Jesus.
God’s plan of salvation is set into motion when He draws us to Himself. “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him,” (John 6:44a). His Spirit ignites our faith, prompts us to believe, and calls us as disciples. We find it tempting to “help” the Holy Spirit and calm our own fears by pressuring kids for decisions through repeated invitations, high-pressure appeals, and suggestions of doubt. It may happen at home, in Sunday School, at Vacation Bible School, or in a Christian school. Ironically, we caution career choices made just from adrenaline and future spouse choices made just based on feelings. Big decisions are too big to be made strictly from emotion. True commitment doesn’t exclude careful thought and examination. We may feel good about high numbers of responses and even say God did the work; we may tearfully rejoice over young people streaming down aisles. We walk dangerously close to spiritual manipulation when we push kids to Jesus.
We may pull our kids from Jesus.
While pressuring kids into salvation decisions allows us to breathe a pseudo “sigh of relief,” we can also manipulate HOW they make spiritual decisions for our own satisfaction. An adult might not “feel good” about decisions made by kids in childhood, at camp, or alone. Parents or spiritual guides might have preferred ways to see young people come to faith, but God already has a plan. God orchestrates the transformation of a lost soul to a child of God. If a child’s faith in Jesus comes to life in their heart, no parent or pastor can hold them back. We cannot schedule our child or teen’s salvation, nor should we. The time, place or setting of salvation is not meant to make us feel good. It’s not about us at all. We can no more push a child to authentic faith than we can keep him from it.
We may get in the way of Jesus.
If we dig deep, somewhere alongside our longing for children to know Jesus there may lurk selfishness to be in control. We would rather kids run to Jesus on their own, but we’re tempted to capture them in a “safe zone” for our peace of mind. It may make us feel better, but it’s not real. Each person has to believe on his own. We may become an obstacle to the true faith of our children. Faith under coercion builds a foundation of confusion. Confusion leads to misplaced faith, misunderstood faith, misguided faith, or no faith at all. There’s a narrow space between modeling real faith in a family and manipulating the heart of a child for our own ego or peace of mind.
In the same way, only God knows when a person truly believes. Only God knows the true intent of a grown up heart. God is fully capable of stirring up faith and using His Spirit to save lives through the sacrifice of His Son Jesus. When our good intentions hijack the Holy Spirit’s work, we get bad results.
As we do our part of loving and teaching Jesus at home, we invite the God who saves to do His part. Perhaps the best thing grown-ups can do for a child’s trust in Christ is to trust Christ with the child.
Is your child truly saved?
- Does he experience conviction of wrong?
- Do you see growing fruit of the Spirit?
- Did God work in his heart or did you?
Is your parenting leading your kids to Christ?
- Model a life of true faith in Jesus
- Create a home where God is worshiped and honored
- Talk openly about your own personal relationship with Jesus
- Welcome spiritual questions & create openness for conversation
- Pray for your child’s heart to understand & her faith to grow
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