It’s coming.
The feeling of being held captive by…
Your Child’s Homework!
AHHHH– I’ve sat there in the cell alongside you. Chained to my kid, his paper, and his book.
So before your jail sentence begins, make an escape plan.
No matter if the child is a high achiever or a struggling student, his homework often becomes mom or dad’s. Parents can get emotionally attached to their kid’s school work.
Most of us would say we HELP our kids with homework. But many of us actually take it over. Intentions are good, we want our kids to succeed, but is our helping actually impeding their learning?
Some parents unintentionally enable their child to be an underachiever by the amount of parental involvement (or you could say…rescuing).
Let’s redefine homework success before talking about strategies to get there.
Homework is given by teachers to either extend learning by going deeper, expand learning by going wider, or reinforce lessons taught in the classroom. Success happens when the student’s knowledge base, understanding, and ability to synthesize, apply, and transfer what he or she has learned has taken place.
Success also includes learning from mistakes. (You may want to read a post on this topic. See the link below).
Ownership of the work and responsibility for the learning must be the child’s. That’s success.
Homework can become a bone of contention between parents and kids. One mom and her child stayed up for HOURS attempting to do a middle school math problem. They were stuck. They snapped at each other. Finally they quit. The frustrated mom contacted the teacher the following morning and explained the effort and time “they” had put into this assignment. The teacher responded with, “Well, I’m just glad to hear you spent some time with your child.” What? Really? I’m sure that mom (and kid) could come up with all kinds of other more enjoyable ways to spend time together.
Assignments done at home have the potential for creating an “Now I’m in charge of your school work too” environment. Another mom shared with me that each evening when it’s time for homework, her nine-year-old child has a major melt down. The session concludes with mom and child angry and in tears. Not uncommon.
Remove your homework controller hat, and let your child wear it.
Think of it like this, parents are in charge of most everything in their child’s life: food, entertainment, extra-curricular activities, church, meals, and bedtime.
The child needs to own his learning, his successes and his failures.
Here are 3 things we can do to support (and not take over) our kids study time:
1. Help your child set up a place and time to do homework.
2. Be available. But don’t HOVER!
3. Resist the urge to take over. (Of course you could do it better…with the exception of me helping with math…my kids were better off without my “input”. Remember you are not the one receiving or earning the grade.)
With your youngsters, actually become The Assistant. Make a special badge that says, “Official Homework Assistant”. Put it on during home study time. This will serve to remind the child and the parent that the homework is the student’s.
Say, “This is your work AND I’m here to help you. You are in charge of letting me know how I can help you.”
Then step away from the student.
By using this approach, you will be on your child’s team as opposed to being pitted against him. The student will be invested in his work. And… you will be released from the homework jail.
Be free! Freedom is good.
Blessed are those who find wisdom,
those who gain understanding,
for she is more profitable than silver
and yields better returns than gold.
She is more precious than rubies;
nothing you desire can compare with her.
Proverbs 3:13-15
by,
Lori Wildenberg mom of four, co-founder of 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting, and co-author of 3 parenting books. Lori’s passion is to guide and encourage moms and dads to be the parents God has called them to be. She would love to speak at your next event, lead a parenting workshop, or be your parent-coach. Click here to contact her.
You can find more faith-based parenting ideas in her newly released books
Raising Little Kids with Big Love
and
Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love
- 9 Ways to Raise a Rebellious Kid - December 14, 2016
- 9 Ways to Create a Rebellious Heart in Your Child - November 15, 2016
- The Creepy Clown Craze and Your Child - October 20, 2016
