School is about to be back in session for us. I love getting back to routines and its happy effect on my family. We all really operate well with routines. It gives us a pattern every day–a constancy in our weeks. Summer is fun and free and loose. And we need that for our souls for sure–space to dream and read and be. But back to routine is really where we shine, as a family.
Every year, and you may ask my kids, I set forth some goals for the new year.
One of those goals is to make breakfast every day. And that lasts for about a month…maybe even a week. Then I fall into the habit of leaving food on a certain pantry shelf and let everyone help themselves. The problem is that I am not a morning person.
Another goal I often have is to make menu plans and stick to them every week. It saves money and gives me the ability to avoid deciding last minute or either stress out or settle for fast food. Menu plans are also something I do not maintain well. I fall off after about three weeks.
Then there is all the paperwork that the kids bring home from school. I try to keep it all in one spot and get to it. But more often than not I forget, and it’s either late, or I’m filling it out the morning it is due.
And let’s not forget all those precious, special papers that get sent home with drawings and work that is “Well Done!” and notes from the teacher for what’s coming up this week. I have good intentions, I do! But the fact is I also tend to fail at this, as well.
Don’t even ask me about dental appointments and well checks. Ha! Those tend to be on-again, off-again, too.
Routines are nice. A place for everything is a good mantra. Calendars and planners can be helpful. And, of course, starting the kids off on the right foot every day is important.
But sometimes, mama, it is okay to fail.
In fact, I think it teaches and prepares our children MORE for school and life than if we had it all together all of the time.
There are a few reasons why I wanted to share this with you today. First of all, you may fall on the side of never dropping the ball, ever. Sometimes, you need to! Second, you may be trying and failing and trying again, like I often do. Or finally, you may do what I have done some seasons and drop every ball all of the time.
No matter where you fall on the spectrum, I want you to hear something that will change your perspective. Failing teaches our children that we are human. It teaches them that it is okay to keep working at getting things right. And most of all, and I have seen this firsthand, when you fail, you teach your children to be responsible for their own life.
Now that may seem simplistic, but think of it this way…
When I fail to make breakfast, they make their own. My oldest three children, ages 17, 15 and 12 can all cook omelettes, eggs in a basket and pancakes. They eat cereal, now and again, too. But my lack of cooking has pushed them to learn. It comes in handy on Mother’s Day, I tell you!
When I forget to sign those forms, they keep in mind when they are due and often remind me. So, I have a built in alert-system. They know I have a lot on my plate. So, it’s not a matter of me being lazy. It’s a matter of being busy! And I’m sure many of you are, as well.
As for the menus and special papers, I’m still trying to keep up with them. It is an area, in which I need to continually try, try again.
And as for doctors and dentists, I will honestly tell you, we have missed some years. And every one of our kids are just fine. Eventually, it happened. So, the kids learned a good lesson here, too. It’s okay to march by our own schedule and routine.
As you enter into this new school year, I want to encourage you to give yourselves some space to fail. I have found that in all things, God is faithful to bridge the areas I miss. He makes it all work out. And the enemy will try to make you feel guilty. He will. But, you need to recognize it for what it is, a lie, and move right along.
Have a great school year, mamas!
The best things you can give your kids are a lot of love and grace. The rest is just gravy (that is extra).
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