James 1:2-4 “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
Mark Twain once said, “Good judgment is the result of experience . . . and experience is often the result of bad judgment.”
Isn’t it true that a lot of what we have learned has come from mistakes we have made and difficulties we have endured? I can look back at times in my life and see the growth I’ve personally experienced from various trials. Though I would never want to go back and repeat the experience, I am grateful for the wisdom I gained during these times.
Why then do we as moms often try to keep our children from having these learning opportunities? When we see a crisis on the horizon, it is natural for Mama Bear to spring into action and prevent her cubs from being hurt or uncomfortable.
But are we really protecting them? Is it possible that we actually may be stunting our children’s maturation processes – maybe even interfering with what God is trying to teach them?
When my oldest child was in 7th grade, he became very frustrated with his performance one day during basketball practice. In his anger he punched the gymnasium wall and, consequently, broke his finger. He endured the remainder of the season at the end of the bench watching the other boys play the game he loved.
Though I knew he was wrong in his strong display of emotion, there were many days when I wished I could have solved the problem. It was very hard to see him sitting alone and miserable on the sideline. Eventually, however, I was very glad I didn’t have the power to intervene.
As a high school upperclassman, when assigned to write a high school paper about an influential experience in his life, Luke chose to write about his 7th grade basketball injury experience. It wasn’t until I read his paper that I realized how crucial that difficulty had been for his maturing process. He had learned the importance of controlling his temper and the lesson of reaping consequences. To this day he tells others of his experience and the lessons he learned. A difficult situation helped him develop proper judgment in handling his emotions.
James tells us that we should consider it a joy when we encounter trials. These difficulties test our faith in our heavenly Father. And the desired outcome is that we will develop endurance, resulting in our personal maturity.
Trials → Faith → Endurance → Maturity
Luke learned a great lesson in 7th grade and this nurturing Mama Bear did, too. In the ensuing years, I have tried to be very careful about inserting myself as the hero into every situation that I could “fix” for my children. Often it is best to let them experience the squeeze that so often results from bad judgment, so they can learn from it and grow.
As you interact with your children on a daily basis, look for opportunities to step back and allow God to teach them through difficulties. Don’t always be so quick to jump in and rescue them. They may experience pain, but your wise parenting will also help them to experience God’s refining work in their lives.
Have you ever experienced a time of letting your child suffer through difficult consequences? Please share that experience with us in the comment section; we would love to hear about it!
- Ch…ch…ch…CHANGES Are Coming in 2017 for TMI - December 27, 2016
- What New Thing Are You Ready to See God Do in Your Life in 2017? - December 26, 2016
- Heaviness and Newness - December 23, 2016
