Motherhood is wonderful, but it can also feel like a lot of pressure. I remember the first time the magnitude of my role fully hit me.
I had left my shoes at the door like I always did. (We had white carpeting at that time –a pre-kids decision we regretted-oh-so bitterly).
But this time when I went to put them back on, my shoes were already occupied.
My firstborn, two-years-old at the time, had carefully placed her little shoes neatly inside mine.
All these years later, it’s still a vivid memory. I had the responsibility of modeling for another little person how they should behave. She was looking to me (along with her father) as her primary source of guidance on how to navigate life and all its complications.
Whoa.
There’s no doubt we should take that role very seriously. But if we’re not careful, that weighty responsibility can feel like a pressure to be perfect.
The reality of the happiness and well-being of shaping our children all rides on us making all the right decisions can be overwhelming as well as doing and saying all the right things.
That’s a lot of pressure.
And it’s a lie. But for years, that’s how it translated to my heart.
It took years for me to absorb the truth: Results are not my job. That’s up to Someone far wiser than I am. My job is just to be obedient.
What does “obedience” look like? Well, it’s certainly not a “perfect” science. I mess up often and daily. But, through the power of the Holy Spirit I’ve found it looks something like this:
Walking with God
Spend regular time with Him relying daily on His wisdom, courage, discernment and insight as we mother our children.
Walking with Perseverance
Even when it gets really tough, even when our kids fight against our boundaries, we have to keep fighting for their best interests — even when it’s costly, unpopular and inconvenient. And it often is.
Walking with Consistent Integrity
Do our actions match our words? Maybe not always. We’re human. But kids respect our willingness to admit our mistakes and ask for forgiveness. It lets them know that mistakes are allowed and God’s grace is always available to us — and them. Even though we mess up, our kids notice our consistent, but imperfect, attempt to live out our values.
Whew. Obedience is a tall order that requires the power of the Holy Spirit. But our ability to choose to obey — or not — is under our control.
On the other hand, we can’t control every choice our children make. We can influence. We can guide. We can set boundaries and consequences. Ultimately, however, we have to choose to trust them to their Heavenly Father — Who knows them far better than we do, and Who promises that He will work everything for their good. (Romans 8:28) Even those ill-advised choices.
He doesn’t need me to do His job. Those shoes are far too big for me to fill.
Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. Psalm 37:5 (NLT)
For more from Melinda Means, you can read her blog at MotheringFromScratch.com
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