Six years into our marriage, still barren, I came desperately to God. I was running on empty and needed to not only know more of God Himself, but to be comfortable in my own shoes, as His beloved daughter. Still living to please others way more than I lived to please God, I found myself running on empty. It was time for me to take time out with God and know Him more. It was time to cease striving.
For you see there was nothing I could DO that would put me into my heart’s desired place to be a mom. I needed to stop the do-ing and the pleasing. It was time for me to be still and know Him more. I released it into His hands. And He answered in a huge and miraculous way–four times over the next 8 1/2 years, I would be the mom.
At this point, I found myself still struggling with running on empty.
You see, even when God answers our prayers, there are still places in us that operate as they did before–people-pleasing, working myself to death and missing the wonders that God had placed in my every day life. I needed to stop and BE and know Him. Even more, I needed His wisdom for the many challenges that come with being wife AND mom….and friend and volunteer and homemaker and….and…and.
So I came to a point where I discovered that when Mama is running on empty, she needs a plan to refill, restore, recover.
To cease striving also meant to release control of all those things, Mama had well in-hand (or so she thought). It was time for “Holly Time.”
So that is what we did! Thursday nights, my Chris took the kids and gave me the gift of time. I could spend it however I chose–in-depth Bible study, get together with friends, scrap-booking while watching Pride and Prejudice for the tenth time, go for a walk or WHATEVER.
For you see, dear Mama, you serve a purpose for this time on earth to do and to be SO MANY THINGS! A.B. Simpson wrote, “God means every Christian to be effective, to make a difference in the actual records and results of Christian work. God put each of us here to be a power. There is not one of us but is an essential wheel of the machinery and can accomplish all that God calls us to.”
You are that essential wheel. And for you to get dry and empty is not walking in the power of the Spirit. You need time and space to let God speak to you and let His word dwell in you richly. For that to happen, you need a personal time out.
I challenge you this week, dear Mama, to ask God how to find this space–and to take even an hour to BE.
Honestly, I know it is hard. I have four kids now–and it has to be SO intentional for me to find this time. But perhaps, like me, you just need to find a great Beth Moore CD teaching, drive out by your favorite scenery, and just sit still and listen in that little bit of space you have. It has been life to me. And, I have run to that life–and come away with some really huge God-sized dreams that God called me to…and which now I am walking in. They all came from this time away with God…and with others, too!
What is holding you back from time alone with God today?
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