The water ran again filling the tank of the toilet that hadn’t been used in at least an hour.
My muscles in my neck and jaw tensed as I pondered, Do I really need to call…
“MOM!” A shrill voice interrupted my musings. “MOM! The toilet is overflowing!”
My eye started to twitch as I swallowed and tried to keep control of my voice, “Is there water running on the floor? Or did you just use too much toilet paper again?”
“No Lexi!” A voice downstairs floated upstairs with the tone of emergency, “MOM! Lexi is muddy and I accidentally let her in and help….”
As I raced to get the dog downstairs I heard it again…water running in the unused toilet.
Most of the time motherhood isn’t just putting out one emergency after another. But some days, weeks, months are harder than others. And it is easy for me to dwell on the crazy rather than enjoy the sweet moments. I get too busy to read a book with my kids or too distracted to appreciate the cuddle of a child who will all too soon grow up and move out. Even though it seems impossible the days rush by and there are longer bottles or diapers or sippy cups. The sweet smell of baby is replaced with the smell of wet puppy and then deodorant and cologne or perfume. Cuddles turn into brief hugs and soon that tiny baby you raised is taller than you.
And in the middle of the crazy days I miss the beautifully painful becoming. The becoming of a woman or a man. So how in the wild days of clogged toilets and accidentally letting in muddy dogs do I not miss this becoming? How do I marvel at the miracle without loosing my sanity in the crazy dirty world of raising kids?
I must stop and breathe. Then I must open my eyes to look each one of my children in the eyes. Look past the dirty dog and toilet paper issues and look the amazing people I have the privilege to raise in their eyes. And then I need to see. I need to see who they are — these fallen yet beautiful children. Children who make poor choices, but also children who are learning, growing, and becoming. In that brief moment eye to eye with my kids my eye slows its twitching. A smile plays at my lips and I whisper, “I love you.”
How do you handle the craziness of motherhood so you don’t miss your child growing up?
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