One of my favorite television shows is “Chopped.” It’s a live competition where 4 contestants are given baskets of mystery ingredients to put together “an unforgettable meal” as each course is critiqued by 3 judges. Each round someone is chopped from moving on to make the next plate of food.
Almost every single episode, at least one of the chefs mentions (often with a break in their voice & a tear in their eye) that one of the reasons they are competing is to make their mom or dad proud. The chef’s win would somehow validate their choices and prove their worth in their parent/s’ eyes.
This has been rolling through my mind while sitting through numerous opportunities lately for kids to be awarded for their achievements for the year–athletically, artistically & academically. It’s all fine and good. Really, it is. But there’s something about this performance driven culture that also makes my heart sink a little.
I will leave all the philosophical, psychological and theological opinions about all of this to someone more qualified. We’re always going to have contests and awards and competitions among us, and they have their place. I guess what I’ve been contemplating is this: What am I most proud of in my kids’ lives?
What I mean by “being proud” of our kids is not what inflates our egos, but what gives us cause to rejoice with them, to applaud them and show them approval. What makes us that kind of proud? Honestly.
I hope…I pray that I will show I’m proud of my kids when they work hard, win or lose. When they play or perform with a passionate heart for God and others, no matter their placement or part. When they serve backstage to help someone else shine center stage. When they’re overlooked but look to God for their confidence. When they plan well and study hard but still make a “C.” When they applaud someone else’s success. When they cry out to God when they don’t reach their goals or get the trophy.
I want to applaud my kids when their hearts are inclined toward God and His purposes.
And when their attitudes and actions stink to high heaven, I don’t want to shame them into right performance, I want to guide them into right perspective. I want them to understand that success in God’s eyes is more about depending on God to make progress in the process, than it is needing others’ praise in the performance.
And while I’m praying for them to understand this, I’ll pray for me to get it too. And you. Because it’s what makes our Father proud.
“I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 1:4
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