This is the time of year moms and dads start freaking out about where their youngster or young adult will attend some sort of learning institution. Worry and concerns that sound like, What if my child doesn’t get into ______ then he won’t be able to get into______. fill many parents’ minds. You know the mantra, don’t you?
Okay. Stop. Don’t. Freak. Out. I’m not saying this just to make you feel better, I have actual proof graduates from pedigree, name-brand , ivy league types of places are not what employers are looking for any more.
Guess what they want?
1. A life long learner (Not a 4.0er or someone with a genius IQ) or a person with top notch cognitive ability.
2. A person who has made mistakes. (Yep! Not perfect and able to admit it and try again.)
3. A person who has the ability to listen and then reconsider and redirect if needed. ( A non-arrogant individual who can process on the fly.)
Google is one such company. They don’t care about hiring top college graduates, they want to hire a person with Intellectual Humility.
In fact, many students from top schools who have excellent grades are unable to fail gracefully and are not able to listen to another person’s ideas. They may be arrogant and pretentious. These students have relied on talent and smarts to get by rather than on perseverance, following wise advice, and learning from failure.
Many young people who have been told over and over that they are so smart and talented, have difficulty when inevitable failure comes their way. They think if an idea doesn’t work out, someone else or something else is to blame. And when things do go according to plan, well of course that is to be expected because after-all they are a genius.
So what does all this tell parents? Character traits are more important than talent. Train your kids to persevere, be responsible, and to challenge themselves, help them learn how to lose and win with grace, show them how to share credit when appropriate, model how to consider other’s ideas and then redirect their own path if the other input is better.
Knowing this, another thing to consider is the way in which we encourage our kids. Rather than telling them how smart and beautiful they are (product- driven), tell them how you appreciated their “stick-to-it-tiveness” or the way they could admit when they were wrong (character-driven).
Intellectual humility is really wisdom. Wisdom is learned through making mistakes and having experience.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2
Related posts:
For parents of post high-school kids click here.
For parents of school-aged kids click here.
For parents of toddlers to preschoolers click here.
How might you readjust your goals, keeping these things in mind?
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