Has fear ever captured your heart? It has mine many times in the past and even recently.
In 1989, I received a call that would forever change the course of my life. See, I had lived in fear through an abusive marriage and thought that after those days were over I would not live in fear any longer.
Boy was I wrong. The call brought it all back. It returned in a more vicious way than before. No longer was it about me, but now it was concerning my children.
The clutches reached out that day and captured my heart again. It is always lurking just around the corner for the next victim. Fear waits for the overwhelming circumstances in your life.
I knew fear well because of all the years I lived in abuse. It had become part of my dysfunctional life. I carried it with me like a cloak.
When my two sons were arrested, I was not walking with God. I had previously turned my back on Him.
It seemed as though I was in a whirlwind and didn’t know how to get out. I had no peace in my life.
I just needed a glimmer of hope that all would be okay. See, my little world had been shattered. If you can’t trust or believe in something or someone, there is no hope.
The moment came when I knew that I had to have Jesus back in my life. I could no longer do this by myself.
I can’t tell you that all my fears disappeared and peace flooded my heart at the moment of surrender. It was a process that I had to learn to walk through. I had to learn to trust.
We have all experienced fear to some degree. It unknowingly slips into your heart and takes up residence before you ever realize what is happening. It speaks to you continually. Every thought escalates into an undesired scenario.
But I can tell you there is hope and His name is Jesus. I would never have the strength to walk this for these 24 years without Him.
He has given me strength to walk with my sons through addictions, overdoses, and prisons. It has been a long, long journey that still continues. But if my story helps one mom it is worth the journey.
Yes, I still walk this journey. I have one son who is in prison now. Addictions are still prevalent this day with both my sons. But now I have the King of Kings walking with me and giving me strength when I am weak and hope when my days are cloudy.
I want to share four things I have learned to keep fear from capturing my heart during these times. For fear is real and we need to protect our hearts.
- FOCUS – Surrounding circumstances always battle for my heart. I find that I must keep my heart, my focus on Him. If I don’t then the circumstances will consume me. They become my every thought. It is at this point that fear tries to enter. But if I keep my eyes on Him, peace will flood my heart.
- STRENGTH – As I keep my focus on Him I begin to have strength to continue on with this journey. I have no strength in myself. My strength is found in Him. I am able to stand and pray for my children. My prayers are not always what I want, but I find myself praying for His will in their lives.
- TRUST – As I begin to get stronger in Him by staying focused, reading the Word, and praying, trust begins to fill my heart. When I am trying to take care of their lives and not allow God to be God, I find my trust wavers. But as His trust fills my being, then I can let them go and let God do the needed work within their lives. I must trust Him in every situation.
- HOPE – Through focusing on Him, I am now walking in His strength and trusting all things to Him. The final thing that comes forth is hope. Hope overcomes every doubt that has been placed in my heart by fear. Hope now soars and I know that I know He is in control.
Psalm 56:3 “Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.”
Have you struggled with fear or doubt as a mom?
By: Barbara Peavy
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