Don’t get me wrong; I LOVE my children. I am so very blessed to be able to have them, and I truly believe all children are a blessing and cause us to be better people. Guys, I am agonizing over this! I know it shouldn’t be said out loud, but I’m going to because I know I’m not alone. So, my husband has recently returned from an extended work trip that took him out of town. During said trip, one of my children began to act out. I mean, completely lost it! He would not respond to punishment, rewards, nada. We are still reeling from the chaos he has brought down on our household. There have been many tears cried by everyone involved, and we are still in the midst of the drama. Because I know that I can’t be the only person who has felt this way, here are some pointers on what has gotten me through these circumstances.
- Pray – One of the most powerful gifts God has bestowed upon us the power to prayer. Prayer allows us to see what we have done wrong and gives us a gentleness toward others for whom we have prayed. Have you ever had a time where you were praying for someone that you may dislike or have a hard time dealing with, and later found yourself feeling shockingly sympathetic toward them? It is no wonder our Lord tells us to love and pray for our enemies. It changes our hearts toward them.
“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. -Luke 6:27-28
- Be vigilant – I have also learned that I must be very aware of how I treat and speak to my difficult child. Unfortunately, my default personality can be snippy, impatient, and downright rude. It is only through much continual prayer and reading the Bible that the Lord graciously helps me to overcome this behavior, although I am clearly not perfect at it. It is important to be vigilant of the words that come out of our mouths and the tone in which they are spoken. Are we speaking with love and kindness, or out of sinful frustration and angst? These are things that can exacerbate an already volatile situation if we are not careful.
A gentle answer turns away wrath,But a harsh word stirs up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
- Give grace – Isn’t such a relief when we know we have done something wrong and someone doesn’t drag us through the mud and make us feel an inch tall when they have seen it? When that person allows us to save face and to make amends, and then graciously forgives us and makes us feel as we have never wronged them is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Sister, extend that grace to yourself. Go to God and ask for forgiveness if you have wronged your children. Ask your children for forgiveness (*gasp*). Forgive yourself. Secondly, extend that loving grace toward your children. I sometimes forget my children are children, not fully capable, grown adults. They will make mistakes. They will be foolish. They will get out of control. Love them, discipline them, correct them, forgive them.
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Through all of this, you know what I have found? When I realized I didn’t like my child, I also came to the realization that feelings were a problem with me, not him. It was a heart thing, a sin issue that I had to go to the Lord about and ask Him to remove. I had to humbly ask that He instead, fill my heart with love, peace, joy, patient, kindness, and self-control. And guess what? God has graciously granted me those things. Is our situation perfect? Absolutely not. Are we improving? Yes, yes we are.
Do you have any mommy confessions you’d like to share with us?
- Ch…ch…ch…CHANGES Are Coming in 2017 for TMI - December 27, 2016
- What New Thing Are You Ready to See God Do in Your Life in 2017? - December 26, 2016
- Heaviness and Newness - December 23, 2016
