Parenting Through the Knots and Stitches

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“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are my ways your ways, “ declares the LORD.

“As the heavens are higher than earth,

so are my ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

Do you crochet, or do you know anyone who can? I mean, really REALLY crochet, not the one line of cockeyed links that I create that wouldn’t even pass as a friendship bracelet. I recently tried to take up crocheting…again… and, again, found that I seem to be crochet-challenged. But that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the skill, knowledge, and time it takes to create an intricate lace, a delicate baby blanket, or a classy scarf. I happen to be a doily fan, myself. They amaze me, those intricate stars, snowflakes, fruit-shapes, and flowers crafted by creative and hard-working hands, made up of various knots and stitches. 

Sometimcrochet-1481704_1920es I think we look at the events of our lives like a string of messy bumps and knots, and from our view, we feel jumbled, haphazard, and meaningless. 

But, imagine what we must look like from God’s view. Imagine Him staring at the beautiful creation before Him, knowing how each knot in our lives got us one stitch closer to becoming a masterpiece. Imagine how each difficult circumstance (you are thinking of one right now, I can tell) and each blessing that followed created a beautiful pattern of learning! And until our final breath, we add new knots and stitches.

I wonder what scene my “life doily” makes. Am I star? A snowflake? A flower? Where will I be used?

No, our thoughts cannot possibly be His thoughts, nor our ways His ways. We cannot see ourselves from His view. But oh, how He cares about every knot, every dropped stitch, every back loop, every thread!thoughts

And, oh, that we would remember that when we feel tangled and tattered and torn.

So, how do we show our children that their own “knots” have purpose? How do we teach them that the Creator allows those decreases, those tensions, those love knots, and slip stitches? How do we let them know that those trophies and triumphs, and broken hearts, and failures are all well-known, well loved stitches in the masterpiece of who He is making them to be? Perhaps one way is to intentionally parent by being a knot-maker. Here’s how:

  1. The Cluster Stitch: In crocheting, this stitch is a group of stitches that are joined together to create a triangle. Family is like a cluster stitch. When we intentionally weave ourselves together to create harmony in the home, we actually make each other stronger, and more beautiful. Weaving together calls for both strength and vulnerability. And the best way to weave together is to pour grace out on those closest to us. The Bible explains it this way: “Above all, love each other deeply, for love covers a multitude of sins” (I Peter 4:8)
  2. The Decrease: In crocheting, when it is time to shape an edge or bind it off, a decrease stitch is often used. In life, when natural transitions come, like job changes, moves, new babies, children entering elementary school, wading through adolescence, or launching into adulthood– or when unforeseen transitions come–we can intentionally use this time to decrease stuff and stresses. Think about it. When is the last time you intentionally decreased the unnecessary things in your home and life to make room for what is important? More importantly, it is important that we make room for Christ to increase in us. John 3:30 reminds us, “He must increase, but I must decrease.”
  3. The Love Knot: In crocheting, this is also called Solomon’s knot. It creates a beautiful, open graceful pattern. I think this knot can teach us that genuine love for one another is not selfish and prideful, not self-seeking, but vulnerable and beautiful, and open to grace. It reminds me of the description of love in Ephesians 4:2, which says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing one another in love.”

 Imagine the masterpiece that can be created when we allow God to stitch us together!

Stephanie Shott
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