Lavish Grace Week 2: How to Use Words to INFLATE, Rather Than Deflate

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Welcome to Week 2 of  The Mom Initiative’s Lavish Grace Bible Study! Today, we’re going to look at ways to use our words to inflate others, rather than deflate them. 

Do you need a fresh awareness of  God’s lavish grace? If so, you’re in the right place! This is the second week of our new Bible study based on Kathy Howard’s book, Lavish Grace. This study will help you recognize, rest in, and share the glorious grace of God. Paul – often referred to as “the Apostle of Grace” – will be our tour guide.

We have built in four levels of involvement, so you can participate as much or as little as you are able. (See this previous post for a full explanation.) Here’s the brief version:

  • Level One: Blog posts each Monday
  • Level Two: Extended PDF lessons you can print off each week
  • Level Three: Join the closed Facebook group for discussion throughout the week
  • Level Four: Purchase a copy of “Lavish Grace” and do the study to dig in deep!
  • Bonus Goody: Come back each Saturday for a “Let’s Say Grace” TMI recipe.

If you missed last week’s Bible study lesson (Week 1), you can read it here.

Lavish Grace Week 2 : How to Use Words to INFLATE, Rather than Deflate

A few weeks ago, my seven-year-old was performing what he called “an experiment.” His experiment consisted of water, toilet paper rolls, and spoons. As you can imagine, this “experiment” wasn’t exactly clean.

Quite the opposite, in fact.

He soaked the toilet paper rolls and then made a mess all over my recently-cleaned bathroom floors. When I walked into the bathroom and saw the mess, my initial reaction was far from graceful.

“What were you thinking?” I blurted out, not yet realizing how hurtful those words would be to my sweet boy.

It didn’t take long for me to see my mistake, though.

His eyes filled with tears as he did his best to explain what he was trying to do. The more he talked (and cried) the lower I sank. What kind of mother makes her son feel this way? How could I be so hateful?

It’s sad, isn’t it, that those who are closest to us often get treated the worst?

My family, more than anyone else, catches the heat when I have a bad day. Is that the case for you too?

Does your family, instead of getting your best, sometimes experience your worst? 

Paul (originally called Saul) wrote some pretty powerful things about grace. Today, I want to focus on what he had to say about how we should offer grace to others, specifically in our words. 

I love what he wrote in Ephesians 4:29: 

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (NIV)

In Kathy Howard’s Bible study, Lavish Grace, Kathy compared our words to the air in a beach ball. When we use “unwholesome talk,” it’s like we’re sucking the air right out of a beach ball. On the other hand, when we use good and uplifting words, it’s like we’re blowing air into the ball.

“Like air blown into that limp beach ball, good and edifying words encourage and build up an individual, helping them reach their full potential in Christ.” (Week 4, Lavish Grace).

When my son did his “experiment” and made a mess of our bathroom, my words didn’t help him reach his full potential. They didn’t lift his up. Instead, they deflated him, literally. I actually watched his shoulders sink.

Ugh, that was a terrible sight. 

I don’t want my words to “deflate” those I’m closest to, and I bet you don’t either. 

So how can we make sure our words INFLATE instead? 

Here are a few practical tips: 

Lavish Grace Study, Week 2: Tips to Help You Use Words to Inflate, Rather than Deflate

How to Use Words to INFLATE Rather than DEFLATE:

  1. Use fewer words.

Proverbs 10:19, in the NLT, says this, “Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.” It makes sense that the fewer words we use, the less likely we will be to sin. This is especially true when you’re already upset.

  1. Be quick to listen.

James 1:19 says this, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (NIV)

  1. Focus on the positive.

This is especially the case if you’re discussing something that has the potential to hurt feelings.

  1. Offer grace generously.

Remember just how much God has forgiven you of. This will help you offer grace more generously to others.

  1. Pray in the middle of the mess.

In particular, pray this prayer from Psalms 19:14: “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (NIV)

You can download an in-depth lesson with even more content here: Lavish Grace Week 2 Extended Lesson. 

Which of these tips do you plan to put into practice this week so that your words can inflate those around you, instead of deflating them? 

5 tips to use your words to inflate those around you, rather than deflate them. #lavishgrace @LindseyMBell

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