Dear Woman Who Witnessed My Child's Meltdown - There are a few things you should know... Read more from The Mom Initiative and Lindsey Bell

Dear Woman Who Witnessed My Child’s Meltdown

Spread the love

I was shopping not too long ago when my son had a major meltdown. MAJOR! After receiving a few looks and hearing one unkind comment about my child’s meltdown, I decided a post was in order.

Dear woman who witnessed my child’s meltdown,

I know how bad that meltdown must have looked.

Believe me. I know. (I was there too, remember?)

While he was screaming and throwing himself around on the floor, I know it didn’t reflect well on my ability to parent. I know he was loud. I know he was bothering those who were around us.

I know you think I need to “get my kid under control.” I know this because I saw the judgmental look on your face and heard you say under your breath, “It looks to me like that child needs a few good spankings.”

But did you know that this child of mine (who happened to be very upset when you saw him) is also one of the most cuddly children I have ever met? Did you know that we have been trying – FOR YEARS – to figure out how to best parent him when difficult behavior erupts? Did you know that we have talked to counselors, listened to parenting webinars, read books, sought expert advice, and prayed a lot about this type of behavior? 

Did you know that we are consistent in our discipline? 

Did you know that we don’t let him “get whatever he wants”? 

Did you know that sometimes, “a good spanking” isn’t the best approach? 

The truth is, I was probably judgmental too…before I had kids. I was probably judgmental too…before I lost babies and realized how hard it can be to parent in the midst of grief. 

But I’ve learned that you never really know what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoes. 

You don’t know what struggle their family might be facing. 

Maybe that child who is throwing a loud fit in the middle of the grocery store has recently lost a father…or a sibling…or a grandmother. Maybe that child was abused as an infant. Maybe he was neglected. Maybe he has an undiagnosed health issue that is wreaking havoc on his little body. Maybe his parents are deeply grieving something and are struggling to make it through the day…let alone be a rockstar parent right now. 

So before you judge, please just stop.

You don’t know their situation. You don’t know what’s going on in their life. You don’t know what they’ve tried or how much they’ve prayed.

You don’t know because you’re not them. 

What do you think? Have you ever been judged? Ever struggled with judging another mom? 

Want to read more from Lindsey Bell? Check out her website at www.lindseymbell.com. 

Lindsey Bell
Connect on:
Latest posts by Lindsey Bell (see all)
Share