We don’t know what the littles were doing when the first Christians met to worship. Maybe they played beneath an olive tree or asked for cold well water. Maybe they scooted from widow’s lap to widow’s lap or sat at the feet of the elders. However worship began for the early Church, in the centuries since, corporate worship has generally not become more kid friendly.
While worship isn’t meant to cater to an age group, we want to cultivate a corporate culture that welcomes kids and creates a certain level of comfort. Sometimes we’re well meaning in the sanctuary or auditorium, but things don’t go as planned. In worst-case scenarios, fellow worshipers may end up annoyed, the speaker distracted, and parents drowning their fears in dry cheerios in the foyer. How can a mom teach her kids to sit in church?
There are good ways to tackle this challenge. We can keep our own peace and pass it to our kiddos. The best place to learn to sit in church is not the front row on Sunday morning.
10 Ways to Teach Kids to Sit in Church
- Teach at the table – Before Saturday night or Sunday morning, church clothes or taking a seat … teach children about the components of a gathering. Explain how it looks and sounds, what people will do, and why it matters what we do. Talk about th why we gather. Help littles understand people need to listen, to learn, to sing, and to praise, and we can help them do all that with the way we participate.
- Practice with your family – We expect a lot if we think kids will engage in worship in a room of strangers, if we never worship together as a family. Not winning at family worship? Use your home as an opportunity to learn to worship first together, and your children will be more prepared for church.
- Recruit from your youth group – Know a responsible teen? Share how you’re coaching your kids to join the larger congregation. Ask them to join you to sit beside your little one and teach by example.
- Read from the Bible – Read what God says about Church, like Romans 12:4-5. Help children discover how God loves the Church and wants it to be a special place of worship, growing, serving and loving. Inspire children with God’s vision for worship before you ever walk your kiddo down the aisle.
- Talk in the car – Use the ride as a coaching conversation. Ask questions about what will happen. Keep content positive, not punitive or threatening.
- Spy on a service – Need more time to get the picture? Find an inconspicuous chair in the back, on the side, or in a balcony. Spy on a portion of a service to watch what people do. Sneak out (shhhh …) and enjoy debriefing outside or over a donut! Study what God’s people do together.
- Prepare to be engaged – Prepare yourself for success. Stop in the bathroom before the service. Decide as a family if it’s okay to bring a cup (with a lid) of water or a silent snack (an open package of gummy fruit) or a note pad. Even pre-readers can draw pictures of words they hear in the message. You might multi-task guided illustration to help your little listen. Be clear on what your family guidelines are and what fits your church culture. Look around and ask older moms for guidance about what is considerate.
- Go with good expectations – Children aren’t born knowing how to “do church” the way we do it. Expect them to need training. Refuse to attach your identity to their compliance in the congregation. Be patient. We don’t want worship gatherings to be places of fear and awkwardness.
- Plan to follow through – What will you do when your kiddo doesn’t do what you agreed on? You don’t want to grab their hand and drag them off as if they’ve offended Jesus and shamed your family. Instead, plan for a loving, controlled Plan B. You will need to use it.
- Praise after it’s over – What did your child do well? Affirm their efforts, obedience, and growth. Talk about how they helped others to think about God, and how sweet their worshipful behavior was to you and to God. Maybe all you need to say is, “Oh, I’m so glad we could worship Jesus together!”
We want children to love coming to God’s house, to know it’s warm and wonderful to be with God’s people. Take time to teach your children how to join you in church. You will reap the sweet reward of going to worship, learn about, and serve God together.
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