All my life, I’ve been a planner. When my parents would take my brother and I on a vacation, I would be the one who would pick up the travel brochures and determine where we should go, what we should eat, and how we would get there. Today, I carry a spiral bound planner with me wherever I go. Inside this notebook is my monthly calendar, my to-do list, my grocery list, and my goals for what I want to accomplish for the day, month, and year. Having a plan makes me feel like I am in control.
Until I’m not.
When my twins decided to be born three months early, all of my plans changed. Instead of attending my baby shower, I sat in a rocking chair watching my girls breathe short, labored breaths through a mask inside a plastic incubator.
Then, four years later, in spite of having a progesterone hormone shot once a week, my son decides he doesn’t want to be a St. Patrick’s day baby and is born two days before Valentine’s Day. Again, I have no bags packed, no clothes washed, and no room for him because we were planning on moving two weeks before he was born.
Becoming a mother has happened completely different than I planned. But, you know what? I wouldn’t change either of my children’s birth stories for my perfect plans. The twins premature birth brought me to my knees, binding me in a relationship with God that I had never experienced. My boy was born healthy, even though he was early, and I am forever grateful that I have gotten to be a boy mom. I wouldn’t trade his newborn days for anything, even though he lived in our bedroom, and we were surrounded by moving boxes for two months.
When our plans change as moms, it is so easy to have a “mommy meltdown.” The smallest things can trigger our need to breathe in a bag or stop adulting and just watch Fixer Upper on Netflix.
The diaper blow-out on the way to the birthday party.
The bad report card.
The marker graffiti your two year old painted on your wall.
Melting down is a natural response to the unexpected occurrences of motherhood. Trust me, I’ve found myself in this situation too many times to count. While I know I can’t always stop the meltdowns from happening, I can learn to prepare myself by accepting one simple little phrase: expect the unexpected.
When I can accept that day to day life is not always going to go as I’ve planned, I make room for the unexpected to happen. It will still catch me off guard, but I can take a deep breath and go with it instead of letting it unravel me. Making room for the unexpected is an act of admitting we are not in control.
Isaiah 55:9 says, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Might we give up our plans and start trusting God’s plans?
Sometimes unexpected things happen in our lives to teach us something. Patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, self-control…these fruits of the Spirit aren’t always something that comes naturally. They are learned through experiences. The unexpected isn’t always bad either. The unexpected can be grace, love, or mercy. It can be a hand-drawn picture from your kindergartner, a hug from your teenager, or a newborn snuggle session at two a.m. The unexpected can be the greatest gift of all.
Moms, plan to be surprised. God makes all things work together for the good of those that love Him. Let’s not get so caught up in trying to have our lives and our children’s lives perfectly planned that we miss the surprise. Give God your plans and trust that He will lead you on how to parent your children, schedule your day, and find joy during the difficult moments.
Expect the unexpected.
Surrender the schedule.
Plan to be surprised.
How has God used His plans to change yours? Have you ever experienced a time when things did not go as you planned, but God had a better plan?
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