Understanding God’s Forgiveness

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I can’t go one more second dragging this shackle around. I’ve been a prisoner inside myself and didn’t even know it.

I thought I’d forgiven myself many years ago. And I thought I had really understood what it meant when I was saved by Christ; my old life and sins are forgiven, and I have a new abundant life with Jesus. 

But lately the PAIN has been unbearable from a sin from so long ago.

I refuse to bring this into the new year with me. I’m leaving it here with you…to do whatever you want with it. Some may judge, some may forgive. Some may not even be able to comprehend such a choice. Some may consider themselves to be victims. We were LIED to by society, friends, lovers, parents, doctors…but mostly we were deceived by the devil.

I’ve mulled it around in my head SO many times. No matter the excuse I thought was right enough to choose the act, I just can’t accept it.

Why didn’t I listen to my dad and stepmom? They were the only ones who tried to talk me out of it.

Before I was saved by Christ, almost twenty years ago while I was in college, I got pregnant. I didn’t see how I could support my baby alone. The father didn’t want it.

I went to Planned Parenthood for advice. I felt I had NO other choice. They sent me to the abortion clinic around the corner. No one at Planned Parenthood ever even mentioned other options like adoption.

I had an abortion.

I killed my own baby.

There, I said it.

There’s nothing anyone can say to me that would hurt any more than the torture I’ve put myself through. I know God forgives me, so why have I struggled so long to forgive myself?

ANSWER: Because I haven’t truly trusted in God’s promise of forgiveness and why Jesus died on the cross for all of us.

God promises us forgiveness if we confess. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

They key is in the confessing, trusting and believing in His words.

“Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool” (Isaiah 1:18).

Now, I finally understand the sacrifice God made when His son was crucified on the cross. It was to save us from our sin and to lead us into an abundant life with Him.

People say that time heals all wounds. Nope! God heals all wounds.

I’m thankful for you, sweet mom. I’m thankful that you are on this journey with me. If you are struggling to forgive yourself, please know that there are other women out there who have the same struggle.

But true forgiveness is from God, not yourself. If you can confess it, repent it and trust in Him, He promises to forgive us and your healing and peace begins in Him.

Be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up…And walk in the new freedom of repentance. Jesus died to set you free!

Be Blessed,

AllisonD

For more information on forgiveness go to:

http://www.gotquestions.org/got-forgiveness.html

http://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/1996/september/6w5077.html

http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/women/healing-abortion-s-guilt-and-grief.html

 

 

 

 

Stephanie Shott
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