Sometimes you look back in life and realize you really should thank your mother.
When I was growing up, gratitude was expected by my mom.
If I received a gift from someone, a thank you card was a must. And not just, “Thanks for the <insert gift here> “note. I mean a heartfelt letter explaining how thankful I was, and how I planned to use that gift.
If someone did something nice for me, I was required to thank them wholeheartedly. On the occasions that it didn’t seem sincere enough, I would repeat until my mother was satisfied.
It became a mantra in my life, this “please” and “thank you”. So much so that as my own children came to be, these were some of their first words. And really, who doesn’t fall in love with a one year old who says “Tanks” every time you hand her a cheerio?
Through the years, I did my best to continue the family tradition because it made for good people. Thankful people. And the world can certainly use more of those. But, it’s not always easy to instill gratitude in your children in a world that demands everything now. My way.
Being grateful has to go beyond just the words. It’s a way of life that allows us to not only be thankful for what we have, and what we are given, but to be satisfied with it. So, how do you instill the gift of gratitude in your own children?
Be a Good Example
There’s nothing more powerful in a child’s life than the example their parent sets. And no amount of telling our kids to act one way will work, if they don’t see us living it out ourselves. When everything else in the world is teaching them to want it now, take it now, demand it now, be the light in the darkness for them. Make a point to be thankful—and express it—about things both big and small in your life.
“In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.”
Matthew 5:16
Show Don’t Tell
One of the most powerful lessons I ever learned in gratitude was going with my mother as she delivered Christmas Cheer to a family in need. She’d adopted a family all by herself, including a tree and food for a Christmas meal. As we opened the tattered door to the home of that family, the children rushed to see us, jumping up and down over cans of beans, and bags of bread. They hadn’t even seen the wrapped gifts that still sat in the car. Make sure your children understand that not everyone is given the same in life. They’ll never forget it.
“If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?”
1 John 3:17
Thank God for Everything
As Christians, we have a lot to be thankful for. Regardless of our circumstances, we are loved and protected by the God we serve. And life isn’t always easy. Talk to your children about whatever you are going through (at an appropriate age level) and teach them to be thankful even in hard situations. God uses every circumstance for good. Even when we can’t see it. Teaching our children to look for God’s hand in difficulty can be a powerful lesson in gratitude.
“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Just Say No
While it’s hard to say no to a precious two-year-old asking for a stuffed teddy bear, fast forward ten years to a whiny twelve-year-old whose never heard the word—not so cute anymore. Help your children learn to distinguish between wants and needs. Saying no allows them to see that they don’t truly need everything they see, and after the fact, won’t even miss that they don’t have it. Even more important: saying no makes them grateful for the times you say yes.
“No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.”
Hebrews 12:11
As parents, we make conscious choices as to what we will teach our children. And the things that we choose to instill have a direct relationship to the kind of people they will one day be. Do you want your children to be happy in life? Instill gratitude. Teach them to appreciate the small things. To live with less. To see the needs in others. And to praise God for the ways He is moving in their lives. You’ll be giving them one of the greatest gifts in life.
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