Ecclesiastes 3:1 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.”
I did not expect the rush of emotions that threatened to overwhelm me as I entered the football stadium last Friday. We had arrived early to grab dinner at the concession stand and speak with friends whom we hadn’t seen most of the summer. When the cadence of the drums announced the marching band making their way to the field, we quickly found our seats. This was a scene we have repeated each year for twelve years since my eldest son first donned his pads.
I had almost reached the top of the bleachers when I heard a loud roar. Turning to face the field, I saw Number 51, my senior son – dressed in pads, cleats, and helmet – lead the stampede of 2015 football players onto the newly lined field. With no warning, a lump formed in my throat and tears spilled from my eyes as I realized this was to be a year of last firsts.
Where does the time go? Over twenty-three years the seemingly endless parade of diaper changes and wiping noses quickly turn into homework and sporting events. Before you know it, you are standing on the school bleachers with all the memories flashing before your eyes. Each time the next last first rolls around, the feeling rears its ugly head. How does a mom deal with these gut-wrenching emotions?
It is important to keep life in perspective as you approach the end of a much-travelled road. The wisest man ever to live reminds us “there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.” When something good ends, there are many other things to look forward to.
As I have had more time to think about what will come in the next year, I have identified several guidelines to help me keep a proper focus.
- Cherish the past
There are lots of wonderful memories tucked away in our minds. They are special and can’t be taken away, but we can’t live there. Realize that there are so many more wonderful memories to make in the future. There is a whole new world of experiences waiting for both of you. Use these memories as you continue mothering your maturing children. Teach them and encourage them as they face new obstacles. They succeeded in difficult situations before, and they can do it again. Continue traditions that started those many years ago as you continue to build on the past and strengthen your maturing children.
- Live in the Moment
It is easy to look back with regret at all the things you should have done or said, but that time is past now. It is also natural to wonder so much about the future that you miss the things that are happening now. Savor each experience; focus on the moment. Use the time that is left to pray for your children, and invest in them and their friends. Pray for them as you have done in the past and wait expectantly to see where God leads them. Don’t wait for tomorrow to do what needs to be done today. Use today’s experiences to prepare your child for tomorrow.
- Trust God for the future
It is easy to worry about what the future will bring. Will my child move far away? Will they find a suitable mate? What will I do with myself now that my “mothering” job is over? Don’t waste your time fretting. Trust your children to God – He will take good care of them. Trust yourself to God – He’s not done with you yet. He knows the plans He has for you and they are to give you hope and a future. As you continue to mother your own, also be alert for others in your church or your community who tomorrow may need the mothering that only you can provide. Perhaps even an older friend would benefit from your attention. God will use the experiences He is giving you today to make differences for eternity tomorrow.
My own mother has reminded me often, “The children leave, but they come back bringing a whole passel of family with them. “Mothering” is a job that never ends. I am grateful for the opportunities that God gives me to cherish the past twenty-three years being a mother to five wonderful children. I also know that I can’t change anything about that past – I must simply live for Him now and be the best mother I can be today. And I will most definitely look to my Redeemer as I continue to pray my children into the future and look forward to that “passel of family” that I hope they will bring back with them.
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