She looks different to you.
Her eyes are glassy. Or is that a twinkle?
Giggling, she can’t keep quiet. Gushing all of the great things about him, all conversations now lead to this one subject. If she were back in her light up shoes, the strobe light would be blinding as she twitters around the room.
It’s like she’s on something.
And she is. It’s infatuation.
Although it’s not deadly or illegal, it does give this mama heart cause for concern. It’s a drug that can blind our kids, causing them to miss what is glaring to everyone but them.
Before infatuation hits, we can prepare our kids to be willing to see the truth, the whole truth, about a potential date before they date. The time for them to be objective is before they can’t stop talking about him.
When the intoxication of infatuation comes around, we don’t want our kids to shut their eyes to obvious flaws, saying, “he’ll change.” Many marriages have begun and failed hanging on this one hope. For this reason my husband has often taught our kids:
“What you see is what you’ll get. Whatever you see in the guy or girl you are interested in, you will likely see more of that trait in the future.”
While it is true that people change, especially those who are sincerely following Christ, as a general rule the character you see is the same character that will continue as time passes.
Look for some examples to share with your child:
Does he come to the door to pick you up, open your car door or allow you to go first into a building? The manners he shows in the beginning are usually the best manners you’ll see.
Does he have a job, get good grades or give his best to his sport? The work ethic you see today will be the work ethic that will shine tomorrow…good or bad.
Is she a person of her word? If she says she’ll do something, does she follow through?
How does she treat her parents? Her friends, teachers, coaches? The respect she has for others will be the respect she’ll have for you.
While we don’t want our kids to over analyze every move a potential date makes, we do want them to go into a potential relationship with their eyes open and not be blinded by a starry eyed crush.
Is your child ready to date? Check out this free resource to help you and them know!
Lynn Cowell is a Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker and the author of several books including Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants. Connect with her more at www.LynnCowell.com.
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