I felt helpless laying flat on the table, doctors talking in hushed whispers as they hovered around me. I gripped onto my husband’s quivering hand as he sat and sobbed. As the ultrasound wand circled my swollen belly, I felt like a lab-rat being inspected from the inside out.
The pictures on the ultrasound screen spoke two different messages: one to the doctors of deformity, illness, malady, dysfunction; the other to me of a precious silhouette with hiccups, clinched fists, cute crossed legs, sweet nose. The professionals started urging me to take the “best road,” to terminate the pregnancy and get on with life. My baby with Edward’s Syndrome had no hope for survival. They assured me abortion was my best option. I narrowly escaped the trap. Jenny wasn’t so fortunate. Jenny was also assured abortion was her best option. Unmarried and young she rode silently to the clinic with her boyfriend. He assured her it would all be over soon, and this was the best choice for them both.
But neither Jenny or her boyfriend realized the haunting pain which would follow year after year…day after day. They bought into the lie, fell into the trap, that the quick fix of an abortion would take care of it all… life would go on better than ever. No one told them of the ongoing baggage of grief they would carry the rest of their life.
Jenny’s physical baby was terminated, nevertheless an enormous amount of grief was born in the wake. The revealing of Planned Parenthood’s horrific videos have ripped off the surface bandages of many like Jenny who suffer in silence from their abortion grief.
My prayer is those who have fallen into the Planned Parenthood trap will turn to Christ for healing as new pain rises to the surface.
There is a ministry prepared to lead you to freedom. God is using the team of Deeper Still to help men and women who silently labor carrying their abortion-wounded heart find healing, true joy, and lasting freedom through Christ. Please sweet mom, take the first step, go to their website and find a retreat in your area. You will be surrounded by others who long to minister to your abortion wounded heart, who have walked this same path and found freedom. Today is the day for release from the trap! I’m praying for you!
“If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body” (1 Corinthians 15:44 NASB). “If You, LORD, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with You, that You may be feared” (Psalm 130:3-4 NASB). “Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the LORD has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived with complete honesty! When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the LORD.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone” (Psalm 32:1-5).
Tara Dovenbarger
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