In my interactions with moms, many have shared with me that this really is a scary topic; one many even see as taboo to some degree.
I truly believe God when He tells us in James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” He can give us the wisdom we need to speak truth and life into our children, even about those oh-so-tough topics like body image!
You might be thinking, “My daughter is young; I don’t need to be thinking about body image or dieting.” I don’t think it’s too early to beginning gaining wisdom in this area that so impacts our kids.
Data shows that about 80 percent of 10-year-olds have dieted at one point in their lives.
The question is why?
What causes a child, when they are still a child, to be so consumed with their appearance at such a young age?
The factors could be many, but here are just a few I’ve seen:
1) As moms, we teach our kids to be concerned with their looks and their weight in particular.
I can’t tell you how many times I have said, “I need to get rid of these extra pounds” or patted my belly, drawing attention to my own self-consciousness. Our kids need to see us being confident with the way we were created. Not that we should not care about our bodies; of course we should. And yes, we can definitely struggle with being content with our own shapes and sizes, but our bodies should not be a point where we criticize ourselves. As it says in Isaiah 45:9, “What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’ Does the pot exclaim, ‘How clumsy can you be?'”
Let’s be wise and cautious about how we speak about our own bodies. Our kids are listening…and so is our Creator!
2) Society tells our kids they are not enough.
Culture is obsessed with outward beauty and often rejects those who don’t measure up according to it’s standards. I don’t think as a parent we can go overboard when it comes to pouring in God’s truth about where God tells us to invest in becoming beautiful. He calls beautiful love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. Again, we can be aware of how much effort we put in and the words we use when it comes to our appearance. Go ahead; get the youth-promising potions. But let’s be cognizant of the hidden messages we might be sending with our words and actions.
Aging is ugly.
Only the skinny are beautiful.
I don’t like my _______.
It all comes back to what I believe about myself. Do you struggle to believe you are enough?
Jesus says we are more than enough! Song of Solomon 4:7 is a great verse to put up right on your mirror today: “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” Go ahead – put it on your child’s mirror too!
3) She wants to be accepted.
Me too! Just like that sweet girl struggling over her hair and make-up each morning, I also want to be accepted. I am sure that is why I wrote “His Revolutionary Love; Jesus’ Radical Pursuit of You”. I know, it appears I wrote it for young women, but I needed to write that book for me. I needed and need to know each and every day, Jesus accepts me and is crazy about me just. like. I. am.
Period.
Isaiah 43 reminds me: Jesus does more than accept me. He comes after me.
“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine…
I paid a huge price for you…
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.”
I’m probably the weird, insecure one here, but I need to this know every day. I am desperate to know that no matter what the number on the scale, if my hair is humid huge or my eyeliner is crooked, Jesus is absolutely crazy about me.
Your child needs to know this too, Mom! Be the one to remind her and guess what? In the process, you’ll be filling up your own heart to!
Do you struggle to believe that you are enough and loved by Jesus? Please share your thoughts with us!
Lynn Cowell is a Proverbs 31 speaker and the author of several books including her newest “Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants”. Lynn helps set girls and women on the path toward wise choices by leading them to the only love that can fill the love gap in their hearts. Her husband and their three children live in North Carolina where they love hiking, rafting and anything combining chocolate and peanut butter.
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