Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I spend my time.
I’ve been married to my sweet guy for almost eight years now. When we aren’t working, we are remodeling our country home. Or, we are taking the kids to soccer. Or, doing laundry (and more laundry!). We’ve gotten to the point where date nights need to be scheduled…while I’m thankful for this time together, I sometimes miss the spontaneous dinner and a movie nights we had before children.
I’m a mom to three kids under the age of five. Which means I drive a minivan that is constantly littered with sippy cups and popcorn from Target. We do the minivan shuffle to preschool, birthday parties and activities. There are always so many bags,and so little minutes to get out the door so we won’t be late.
I’m on staff at my church as our Women’s Ministry Coordinator. Just recently, I was the event chair that brought together over 1,000 women in our community. It was awesome and God-ordained. But now that it’s over, I’m trying to listen to what he’s telling me to do next. I’m not sure what to do, or how to be spending my time well.
Time is precious, which we all know is true. I know that this minivan era is just a season for me as a mother, so I should enjoy it before it passes. But with that preciousness comes this pressure, this urgency, this pressing in that causes my heart to panic instead of be still. Have any of you ever felt that way too?
My husband and my mother both tell me that I put too much pressure on myself, that I don’t have to do it all. But, God designed me to live a life on purpose and to share his message of love, grace, and mercy with others. So, how do I make enough time in my day to be a wife, a mother, a ministry leader, and a friend? How do I not waste my time, but also enjoy the time that I do have right now?
Here are five ways that moms can spend their time well:
1. Get rid of distractions.
Whether you are being a wife, mom, or employee, identify what you need to be focusing on and get rid of all other distractions. This might mean turning your cell phone off or not doing the laundry right this second. It could be less social media or working less, so you can spend more time with your kids. Getting rid of distractions is not easy, but it has to be done so you can focus on what matters most.
2. Push your kids on the swing.
For Valentine’s Day, my daughter gave me a picture frame that had a picture of her inside of it holding a chalkboard that said, “I love it when they push me on the swing.” I keep this picture frame on my bedside dresser as a reminder that this time with her is valuable and gives her joy. Plus, going outside is a great way to clear your mind, giggle, and not worry about all there is to do inside the house. Pushing her on the swing is a simple act, but it leaves a lasting impression on her.
3. Give him something unexpected.
Even though our dates have to be planned more right now, I can still show my husband some love by giving him something unexpected. Whether that be his favorite dessert, a back massage, or even an extra helping hand, giving him something unexpected will be a nice treat in between date nights.
4. Slow down.
For lent, I’m choosing to rest, and I’m also learning what it really means to rest. Rest is not just vegging out watching Netflix or taking trips to the beach (these things are okay, promise!) But rest is about finding time to be still during the busy schedule of the week. Rest is listening to a praise song in the carpool line instead of checking e-mail. Rest is doing a longer devotion in the morning instead of sleeping in an extra five minutes. Rest is going outside between meetings so your face can feel the sunshine. While God calls us to work, he also tells us we need to breathe.
5. Say no.
I like to think that I can juggle being a wife, mom, and ministry leader but the truth is, I drop the ball daily. I don’t have a good perspective on what all I can handle, and I don’t always say no well. In order to make the most of my time, I need to say no to some things so I can focus on other things wholeheartedly. This is the hardest step for me to take, and one that I’m continually asking God to give me the strength, tact, and grace to do out of pure intent.
If you are struggling with how you are spending your time, review these steps and identify areas of your life that need to be re-focused or let go. Our days, weeks, and even months of the year change so know that what works for you today might not work for you tomorrow. Listen to the Holy Spirit. If something is making your heart beat frantically, identify it and change your course. If something is giving your heart joy, do more of it. If we are going to love our people, we have to embrace the time that we have with them.
Question: Are you struggling with how you spend your time? What might you need to let go or re-focus?
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