Six Suggestions to Stop Sibling Squabbles

Spread the love

squabbles

Any mom with two or more kids has seen sibling squabbles…

from the toy snatching of toddlers to the bickering of older kids. And even though these interactions between sisters and brothers are inevitable, they can sometimes be hard to deal with. 

Here are six things you can do as a mom to stop the squabbles (and increase the love):

1. Get involved. Rather than yelling at your kids to stop fighting (or hiding in the other room pretending not to hear them), get in the mix. If you have little ones, kneel down and talk on their eye level about what is going on. Did one of them snatch a toy from the other? Teach that child to learn to ask for the toy or wait his or her turn. Or maybe your other child simply needs help learning to share. If your kids are older, talk to them in more detail and have them consider how the other person is feeling. Help them see both sides of the situation. Have them come up with a solution that is fair for both and involve them in the problem solving rather than jumping in with a fix. Squabbles can actually be great opportunities for building character and compassion. (If your kids are really young, the whole “talking about it” thing might not work so well. If this is the case, separating them when they’re fighting might be your best bet. You can still take the opportunity to talk to them about sharing or not snatching, but sometimes, creating space and shifting gears is all it takes to cool things down.)

2. Get positive. Or rather, have them get positive. If your kids are fighting, have them stop and give each other a compliment. Or have them make each other a card. Or have them do one nice thing for each other. Even though they might start with scrunched-up faces and frowns, by the time they’re done saying or writing something nice about each other, you might be surprised at the smiles that sneak out. Kindness goes a long way in diffusing a fight.

3. Get loving. I copied this idea from a friend of mine: Tell your kids if they don’t stop fighting, they’re going to have to give each other a big hug. And if they don’t stop, have them do it. When I’ve taken this approach, it has resulted in my kids getting silly and laughing–and the fighting stops.

4. Put them to work. Have your kids clean a room or do something like empty the dishwasher when they are fighting. It will take their minds off arguing and help them to be productive. One time when my son and daughter were bickering, I gave them a warning and told them if they didn’t stop, they’d have to vacuum the entire upstairs. They didn’t stop. So they ended up vacumming. And by the time they were done, they’d forgotten all about being mad at each other. They probably wouldn’t admit it, but I think they even had fun. The house looked better, too!

5. Don’t listen to tattling. It only encourages more tattling, and it pits your kids against each other. When they come to you tattling, encourage them to work it out themselves instead (if they are younger and need your involvement to do this, you can still get involved but help them to come up with a resolution). Encourage them to stick up for each other rather than set out to get each other in trouble. The rule we have in our house is we are all on the same team; unless it’s is an emergency or a safety issue, they can’t tattle.

6. Pray! I know it can be hard to stop and pray when chaos hits, but there is nothing more powerful than prayer.  When a mom prays, it brings peace to your home–and to your parenting. You don’t have to wait until things get stressful either. Pray ahead of time, each morning – for your kids, and for yourself. Pray for patience and wisdom. Pray for opportunities to show God’s love. And pray that you would model the kind of love in your relationships that you want your kids to display in theirs. 

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. – (Romans 12:12 ESV )

What about you? Have you tried any of these suggestions in the past? How have they worked? Do you have any other ideas or “sibling squabble” stories to share?

Stephanie Shott
Latest posts by Stephanie Shott (see all)
Share