Even though I’ve spent years mentoring teenagers and younger women, along with writing how to simplify the whole mentoring process, I still have my moments when the mentor word makes me want to cringe.
I wonder if my investment of time is really worth it. I question if I am doing it just-the-right-way. And I still long for a mentor to live next door and have time to sip a cup of coffee with me face-to-face. Yet God never seems to allow me to wallow in my self-pity for long before reminding me of the beauty of mentoring — like bringing back into my life a young woman who I mentored a decade ago. But before I tell you that story, I want to give you the chance to think about what mentoring means to you?
What does mentoring mean to you?
“The word mentoring carries such a stigma, both positively and negatively. Those who have experienced the blessings of mentoring use the word with fondness and passion, understanding the purpose and seeing the tangible benefits. However, those who have never experienced healthy mentoring relationships tend to face the word with fear, hesitation, and sometimes a bit of bitterness or resentment.
I’ve been on both sides of the mentoring continuum. I’ve mentored others and have seen tremendous blessings in being mentored as well. Yet I also know that feeling of longing for a mentor and of growing resentful when I wasn’t the one picked, so to speak. I’m sure my face turned three shades of red, embarrassed by my own intense jealousy, as I heard a woman I deeply respected publicly declare her mentoring role in the life of a woman nearly my age. I wanted that proclamation! And then, as I shared in Impact My Life, I remembered the truths God impressed on my heart about the roles of mentors:
The fact is that many women lack eyes to see the opportunity to mentor and miss noticing when they have been mentored by others.
The truth is that I do have mentors, just not ones who have a platform from which they can announce their influence in my life. There are at least five women who I know, without a doubt, who exemplify what I describe as a biblical mentor in Impact My Life — women who follow Christ distinctly and from the overflow of that relationship, speak truth, life, and hope into my soul.
Women who offer counsel based on the wisdom founded in the Word.
Women who provide encouragement through their thoughtful actions and critical times of support.
The world might simply call them friends, but I call them my biblical mentors because these relationships span the generations, occur outside of the routines of life seasons, and are rooted in our shared faith in Jesus Christ as Lord.”
~ Excerpted from Impact My Life Study Guide, a companion to Impact My Life: Biblical Mentoring Simplified
What if the idea of mentoring was simply about living out God’s story for your life?
These Christ-with-skin-on mentoring relationships continue to surprise me — usually right at the time when I’m ready to quit mentoring all-together. It’s easy to get discouraged when you can’t see the fruit. But God is at work in our relationships, enabling us to mentor others when we feel like we’re doing nothing — or doing something seemingly small.
That young woman I mentored over a decade ago — well, she’s all grown up now, married to an amazing young man, and journeying through the early stages of motherhood — right next door. As I watch her immerse back into our community as a spouse of a teacher instead of a student, I stand in awe of the young woman she has become and how God continues to weave of our stories together. I get to put on my mentoring hat again, now embracing this young woman as a friend and getting to love on her child, too. And she gets to put on her mentoring hat as she reaches into the lives of my own teen daughters, who think it’s amazing to have her in their life again.
And it all started with one simple prayer, that had very little to do with mentoring?
“God, who would you like us to ask to be our date-night babysitter?”
Jessica emerged from the pack of teens in our life as the one to choose, and to our delight, she said yes! Of course, I knew in my heart that God was calling me to make time for her, as He’d done in the past with our former sitters. It was my tradition to walk in the door from our date night and plop down on the couch to chat away — that’s we’re the mentoring would happen, informally and yet on purpose long before I called it mentoring.
And now, the young girl whose heart I got to shape is going shape the hearts of my girls. Is there anything more beautiful than that?
So, let me ask you: What would it take for the mentor word to no longer make you cringe? How can you think different about mentoring, while doing it purposefully, giving God the opportunity to weave your story together with another woman, younger or older?
If you’d like to begin thinking of mentoring differently, grab a copy of Impact My Life: Biblical Mentoring Simplified and get involved in the free Mentoring Training groups offered at More to Be.
CLICK HERE to request to join our FACEBOOK GROUP and CONTINUE the CONVERSATION!
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