I’m just going to put it out there.
I pretty much hated sleep-overs and slumber parties.
And not just because of tired cranky kids the next day.
Mostly I hated sleep-overs because I preferred to tuck my kids into their own bed at night. And..to be honest, I liked the element of control, knowing what they were watching and what activities they were involved in.
If I could choose, I preferred to have kids come to our home to spend the night rather than my kids go to a friends.
Most parents have a big opinion about slumber parties and sleep-overs.
Some parents who object to sleep overs have developed what they call sleep-unders or half-overs. It’s a compromise of allowing the child to hang with the group until “late” and then be picked up by mom or dad to go home.
Here are a few questions that may help you navigate this emotionally charged issue of slumber party participation.
1. Do I know the parents well?
2. Am I comfortable with the siblings?
3. Am I comfortable with the family’s lifestyle?
4. Is my child emotionally ready to spend the night away from home?
5. How often will I say yes to this activity?
6. Is my spouse in a agreement with me?
Sleep-overs can be a fun thing and can give the child a sense of independence. But… in order for those two things to occur, a parent needs to ask herself these six questions. If the answer is no to any of them, then the response to the invitation is no as well.
Parents who are 100% pro-slumber party may be the biggest hurdle to jump. If your answer is not affirmative be ready to respectfully hold your ground. “Thanks for the invitation, but that won’t work out.” If pressed say, ” We don’t do sleep-overs.”
Usually when my kids slept over at a friends, it went great. There was the one time however my daughter (who initially was angry with my no) was relieved when I picked her up from the party at 10:30. She told me she was very uncomfortable at that particular family’s home and was so glad she wasn’t spending the night like the other kids.
My gut was right.
Trust your mom-sense. We don’t have to say yes. As parents who love their kids with their whole being, we have the freedom to say yea or nay. Forget the parent peer pressure. Don’t worry about it if your child is angry with you.
Looking back, my husband and I said yes to the sleep-overs more than no.
Mostly, my kids…they loved sleep overs. Of course they did….
How do you handle the sleep over dilemma?
If you liked this post, you would like the book, Raising Little Kids with Big Love or Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love. Both books can be found on Amazon or BarnesandNobel.com
by,
Lori Wildenberg
co-founder of 1Corinthians13Parenting
speaker, author, parent consultant, mom of 4
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