Sitting in a blue box underneath piles of scrapbook paper, stickers, and rubber stamps are letters. More than 200 of them in fact. They’ve been sitting there, yellowing in the quiet darkness of the basement, but each one is near and dear to my heart. Each one reminds me that couples like Chris and I only have a ONE percent chance of surviving.
15 years ago, my heart was in turmoil.
Still in high school, I stared in shock at the positive pregnancy test. Suddenly I was keenly aware of our differences.
I had a temper. My boyfriend didn’t.
He came from a wealthier family. I didn’t.
He thought we should listen to his parents and give the baby up for adoption. I thought we could raise her together.
He went off to college, I stayed behind.
He was cautious, all his days were planned. I wasn’t. My days were never the same.
I thought we could conquer anything, he was a realist.
Despite setbacks, arguments, and breaking up once, our differences created the perfect mix of facing the world together.
I found strength and hope through his letters as I fumbled through high school trying to hide my belly until graduation.
Even though he was merely 100 minutes away, it may as well been a 100 miles. His letters kept me going. He made me smile during some of the worst days of my young adult life.
But one letter in particular comes to mind. The page is worn as if it had been read thousands of times (Probably), the edges tattered, the ink faded, the paper yellowing and cracked.
Someday I’ll be done with school. Then you and I can move out into the country and sit on our front porch. We’ll be rocking there together until the gray grows into your hair. I can’t wait to marry you someday baby, if you’ll have me.
He had me at gray hair. 
I loved him madly and I still do. I smile at the memories made from reading those letters. Never in a million years did I dream we could make it this far. We faced every difficult circumstance one could fathom in our marriage. And there was a time when I thought divorce was the only answer–until God became the center of our lives. In this day and age where our generation is making up terms like conscious uncoupling as in the case of Gwynth Paltrow, to ease the sting of divorce, I’m reminded just how important our faith is.
We still have “I can’t stand to talk to you,” moments but it’s different because we both know beyond the shadow of a doubt each of us is committed to pleasing God. Each of us is committed to fight through the tough moments even when we don’t feel in love.
And there were moments when I read his letters right along side my Bible.
Hosea 2:19 And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy.
So can I encourage you? If you’re facing impossible circumstances, if you’re marriage is struggling, I want to tell you God has you firmly in the center of his hands. If you don’t know how much longer your marriage will last–God has plans. If you don’t have insight or direction, God does. Some of my most profound marriage moments were in counseling as I shared my pain, relied on Jesus for strength, and clung to the letters Chris wrote me.
And in a few short weeks, I get to walk down the aisle–for real this time. We get to celebrate 15 hard, crazy, good years of marriage and say “I do” when everyone else thought we wouldn’t make it. We get to promise ourselves to each other again as Christ followers. We get to break the strongholds of divorce, mistrust, and others for our children as we stand in front of them as say, “I STILL take you.”
And we have God to thank because he is at the center of our marriage.
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REGISTER NOW for the
2014 M.O.M. Conference ~ BETTER TOGETHER
July 31st – August 2nd
Jacksonville, Florida at Trinity Baptist Church
Registration Information, Location, List of Breakout Sessions, Descriptions of Workshops, Conference Speaking Team, Better Together Conference Flyer, Better Together Bulletin Insert (Full Color), Better Together Bulletin Insert (Black & White), Better Together Conference Cards (Postcard Size)
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