Hey there, you second time mom.
Here you are, with a baby on your bust and another by your side. Yep, your hands are full yet so is your heart. As you gaze at your new addition, you wonder how you could have ever lived without him.
For nine months, you wondered the complete opposite: how am I going to manage having more than one child?
You tried to prepare your first child to become the big kid around the house but you were always unsure exactly how she would react when the baby came along. You’ve probably gotten a new vehicle by now, maybe even a van. Carry on with your swagger wagon self, carry on.
You and the hubs have also had the budget talk – again. The numbers don’t add up and you pray that your kids are either smart or talented to have a scholarship for college one day. If you are having a girl, bless your heart…might as well go ahead and start on her wedding fund too.
Being pregnant the second time around doesn’t make being pregnant any easier. You turn up Dora the Explorer just so your little one won’t hear your morning sickness. When she barges into the bathroom anyway and asks for some juice while questioning why your head is in the potty you briefly consider telling her that morning sickness is a form of torture on mommy but instead you say you don’t feel good and will get her some juice in a second.
You had hoped that giving birth to your second child would be easier because the birthing experience wasn’t as foreign to you as the first time around but as the contractions begin and the doctor tells you its time, you can’t help but get a little scared. You know now what it’s like to love a little one, to be a mother, to share such intimacy with your husband and you pray to God that everything will go smoothly. When you are pushing and sweating or lying on the exam room table frozen from the chest down, you realize that God’s the only one that can give you peace. It’s humbling how he helps us when we are helpless.
On that first night home from the hospital and it’s just your family of four (or five if you have twins like me!), you feel so much more like a grown up. The first time around, it was more like you were playing pretend family; dressing her up in cute outfits and documenting every hour of her day with your brand new mom camera. Now that you’re a second time mom, you know that this thing called responsibility is real and thank God for iPhones and Instagram because who has time to upload pictures?
Being a second time mom, when friends or family offer to help with your oldest or bring you a meal, you mean it from the bottom of your exhausted heart when you say please and thank you. You’ve realized a heck of a lot sooner that you aren’t super mom but that’s okay because are there any super moms, really?
You do feel like you have some street cred around first time moms. They ask you for tips about strollers and nursing and you actually have some legit advice, not just some information that you’ve memorized from Babywise and babycenter.com. But, you are much more authentic and know that you don’t know it all so you don’t try to act like this baby-raising gig is a cake walk. It’s real and it’s hard and it doesn’t get any easier. But, it’s so worth it. It really, really is.
So what if your house is scattered with sippy cups and your sheets smell like sour milk from your midnight feeds? Who cares if your oldest is wearing socks that completely don’t match her bow? Does it really matter that your nursery still isn’t finished, even though your newest has been home for a month? Your perspective shifts as a second time mom; the imperfect is perfect.
photo by erica hartzog photography
Because you’d rather be spending time cradling your newborn – you know now that they won’t stay this little forever. You already can’t stand thinking about his first birthday. You know that in a few short years, your baby will have her own opinions, style, and attitude that you will find irresistible even though it makes you go insane. You know that you will have mommy brain and if you don’t do a status update you will completely forget those ordinary moments that make motherhood extraordinary. Being a mother is a gift and this time you want to unwrap it slowly.
Here’s to you, second time mom. You deserve a round of applause for giving this thing called motherhood another go. Sure, you are a little crazy. Yes, your house will stay a mess. No, it doesn’t get any easier. But you know something now that you didn’t know the first time: you can do this. You will make more memories than mistakes. You will be taught just as much as you teach. You will love and be loved in an unexplainable way. You will make room for more, in your heart and your home.
Sincerely (from one second time mom to another),
Christen
Question: What was your experience adding a second child to your home? How was it different than being a first-time mom?
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