What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

I’ve had more circumstances over the last five years that I’ve had no idea what to do. There were no obvious answers. No easy solutions. That’s a problem, when someone like myself, is by nature, a problem solver. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not my first response. My very first response is to process. I have to process through things. And then … my problem solving nature kicks in. And a lot of the time, I have some good, solid answers … solutions. Biblical solutions.

If it’s an internal conflict waging war on the emotions, I have Spiritual disciplines that I have learned to employ.

But … It’s those external circumstances that tend to come with less tangible answers. Circumstances that are completely beyond your control. So, what do you do when there are no obvious answers? You seem to be at the mercy of your circumstances. How do you keep yourself from falling into a pit of despair and hopelessness?

I’m talking about when your child goes against everything you’ve taught him, turning his back on God and his family. Or the moment you receive word that the cancer has spread, and now you are truly in the fight for your life. Or when your child is diagnosed with stage three cancer. Or when your husband decides he no longer loves you and chooses another family, walking away from you and his own children.

These are circumstances that you can’t control. There are no answers … no obvious solutions. No hand book to refer to. You are empty. Broken. Scared. Confused. Teetering on the edge of despair and hopelessness.

So … what do you do when you don’t know what to do?

I offer to you, four tangible things that kept me from careening off the cliff of despair and hopelessness.

1) Pray and Seek God … A lot. Matthew 7:7 says, “Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and it will be opened to you.” This verse intimates perseverance in asking, seeking and knocking. Keep asking until your prayer is answered. When your prayer lines up with Scripture and His will, you WILL receive your answer. Keep seeking Him. A measure of Spiritual maturity is found not in perfection, but in our constant pursuit of Him no matter how dire our circumstances, and no matter how deep our pain. So, keep asking and seeking Him.

2) Share your burden. Galatians 6:2 and Romans 15:1 urge us to bear one another’s burdens. If you have a close, godly friend whom you trust, share your heart with her. Let her help carry your burden with you. Be honest with her about your fears, concerns, pain, sadness. One of God’s greatest gifts to us, is the gift of friendship. Often, friends are the physical arms of Jesus, as His love flows through the tender touch and love of a friend. Most importantly, she can stand in the gap of prayer for you, and encourage you to keep holding on to your faith. NOTE: It’s important to carefully discern who you share your heart with. She should be a strong woman of the faith, who will speak the truth in love to you, always point you to the cross, and is able to keep a confidence.

3) Be still. Psalm 46:10 is a very familiar verse. But, did you know that the words “be still” come from a Hebrew word that means, “LET GO.” Release your grip (your burning desire to hold onto it) and just let go. Let go, and KNOW that HE is God. When you can’t change something, or someone, It’s a freeing moment when we get to the point where we simply let go. Let go of the guilt. The shame. The anger. The bitterness. The fears. The uncertainty. The “what if’s.” The “why me’s?”. The “If only’s”. And just KNOW that He is God.

4) CHOOSE to trust God. For years I was told by well meaning Believers, “Shelly, you just need to trust God.” Most of the time, it seemed more of a “go away” answer, and a phrase that quickly rolled off me as nothing more than a cliche. I was pretty certain that only Pastor’s wives and missionaries in the furthest recesses of the world knew how to trust God with everything fiber of her being. It wasn’t until my mid thirties that the secret of how to trust God was uncovered. It was no longer a well-meaning cliche to me. I learned that even the average person like myself could grow to trust God with every fiber of her being. As I became more intimately acquainted with the Lord, something miraculous began to happen! I discovered that my level of trust in Him began to rapidly grow! The more I pursued Him, and the more I got to know Him, the more I grew to trust Him. The more I grasped His character and how much He loved me, the more I trusted Him. Getting to know Him intimately, was the secret to being able to trust Him!

When I say, “choose to trust God,” I’m not giving you a go away answer. I’m assuring you that God is trustworthy, and no matter what circumstance you are enduring, no matter how alone you feel, no matter how dire your circumstances look, you can trust Him with every fiber of your being. You can trust that He would never allow anything into your life that does not have great purpose.

You can trust that, somehow, someway, He will literally overrule the bad in your life and turn it into something good. [Romans 8:28] You can trust that He is faithful to His promises and He promised to never leave you. You may have to ask Him for an awareness of His presence, but make no mistake, He is with you!

So, when you don’t know what to do … Pray and seek Him … a lot. Share your burden. Be still. And CHOOSE to trust your Father with every fiber of your being! 

____________________________________________

REGISTER NOW for the

2014 M.O.M. Conference ~ BETTER TOGETHER

July 31st – August 2nd

Jacksonville, Florida at Trinity Baptist Church

Registration Information, Location, List of Breakout Sessions, Descriptions of Workshops, Conference Speaking Team, Better Together Conference Flyer, Better Together Bulletin Insert (Full Color), Better Together Bulletin Insert (Black & White), Better Together Conference Cards (Postcard Size)