Before we get started on today’s words of wisdom from Angela Mackey, we want to ANNOUNCE THE WINNER OF 31 DAYS TO BECOMING A HAPPY WIFE! CONGRATULATIONS, Tammy Bruce!
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“I don’t understand,” my words dripped frustration – frustration that I couldn’t make myself understand. “What are you thinking?”
Her head slumped.
Great I have done it again, but I can’t figure this out unless she answers me.
She swallowed hard as my eyes pleaded for an answer. “I just don’t know mom!” tears pricked her eyes.
My heart thundered as fear mixed with frustration squeezed my chest. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what is going on in your precious head.”
My words sound threatening, I thought, but I have to know or I can’t teach her. She has to communicate. She has to communicate…I have to communicate…We have to communicate.
I let the air out of my lungs – air I didn’t know was there. “I. . . I’m not frustrated at you,” my words came out slower, calmer. “I am frustrated that I can’t make you understand. So I need to know what you are thinking so I can help you with fractions.”
Communicating. Not only must we choose kind words but we must watch what our tone of voice and body language are saying. So when we feel like our last nerve is being tweaked or that we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders how do we communicate in love?
- Take a deep breath before you speak and let it out. This gives you a chance to think before you speak. It also makes sure you don’t have enough air in your lungs to launch into an all-out verbal assault…
- Ask questions and listen to the answer whether you like it or not. Questions help you understand what your child means. Sometimes my children will say I am being “mean.” So I ask, “Tell me how I have been mean please because I may be wrong.” I may not be wrong, but this will give me glimpses of what is going on in their hearts.
- Ask for forgiveness if you hurt your child’s feelings. What we perceive is reality to us. So if in the example above my child interpreted my frustration as frustration toward her, I need to ask her to forgive me. Then I can tell her where my frustration was directed (at my inability to help her understand).
What do you do in order to communicate well with your children?
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July 31st – August 2nd
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