I sit here in the quiet madness that only a saved person feels when all that she has done is not enough. Here am I juggling to be good, lead, do better, mother more, strive harder; chasing God while feeling so empty inside. And here am I…hiding a dark secret. Etched into the laugh lines around my eyes are furrows of worry, of weakness. In the canyons of my worry lies the belief I am not enough. Try harder, do better, be better.
Looking into the mirror, I see past mistakes, reflections of those who still paint me as the old me, and unforgiveness of the fresh mistakes that bleed my heart dry for acceptance.
Little mama, I’m guessing if you know what I’m talking about, you too are worn out. You too, are tired of fighting the good fight. As I stare out into the setting sun, a whisper hits me, “Live Loved.” Live loved…. two words sucker punch my soul, opening my eyes to the realization that I’ve adopted this attitude of “I’m so broken, I must try harder, be better” for God to love me. But I hear another whisper, “We love because he first loved us.”
Live loved because he first loved us.
How?
Another whisper, “Be still and know that I am God.”
Still I ask for help.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
How can I not fear, how do I know that I’m enough as I am?
Long ago the LORD said to Israel: “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.
How are you striving to earn the favor of Jesus? Don’t you believe He loves you? It rests in the thought, “I am not lovable,” because you and I are so both are full of doubt. We question if Jesus hears our cries for reassurance, the will to believe, the will to love. When I hear live loved, realization dawns through the darkness. Realization I need to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus because I am so loved, Jesus was glad to die for me.
You too are loved. He loved you when before time existed. He loved you when he knitted you within your mama’s womb. He loved you in your messy girl stage. He loved you as you fumbled through high school. And even now, in the messy chaos of your home, in your frazzled “I don’t think I can do this” mom stage–he loves you.
To love lived, we must face our fears of being “the unlovable.” What if faith could be your default to doubt instead of fear? It takes courage and a decision to believe what God says and you–little mama were not given a spirit of fear but one of courage and a sound mind. Will you push away the lies and the doubt? Will you stand on God’s word, pulling your strength and courage to live loved?
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REGISTER NOW for the
2014 M.O.M. Conference ~ BETTER TOGETHER
July 31st – August 2nd
Jacksonville, Florida at Trinity Baptist Church
Registration Information, Location, List of Breakout Sessions, Descriptions of Workshops, Conference Speaking Team, Better Together Conference Flyer, Better Together Bulletin Insert (Full Color), Better Together Bulletin Insert (Black & White), Better Together Conference Cards (Postcard Size)
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