By Guest: LauraLee Shaw
It was my first time attending Bible Study at my new home church. A small, friendly setting, the down-to-earth women made me feel at ease. Our leader started with an icebreaker. Introduce ourselves, then tell one fact that others might not know about us. I shuffled through my thoughts for that one thing I should share.
I could tell them I’m a Christian writer and speaker. I immediately rejected that thought, deciding to share a tidbit that would help them know my personality better instead.
“I’m LauraLee Shaw, and I’m a stay-at-home-mom who’s domestically challenged.” This rolled off my tongue much to my own surprise, but it was out there. My confession was met with grins, giggles & some head nods up and down. Phew.
Later that night, my public declaration at Bible Study bounced around my brain. I’d said that hundreds of times to myself before, never out loud to others with such blunt force. I’d divvied out my reasons to others of why it was difficult for my scattered, creative brain to manage a household and put meals together. I’d laughed about how I was surrounded with Martha Stewart-type friends I wanted to be just like when I grow up. What more could one expect from someone from a poor, broken home who wasn’t taught a lick about domestic life?
Deep down, though, I was ready to ditch the Undomestic Diva label.
After several months of praying about it, the Lord began to change my thinking. Even though I would probably never be a gourmet chef, a top notch homemaker or in the same league as some of my super organized friends, with God’s strength and wonder-working power, I could most certainly be more domestic.“I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength” (Phil 4:13, NLT).
I began to walk through this process God’s way, and I learned lesson after valuable lesson. Some had to do with practical ways of becoming a better family manager, but most had to do with becoming the woman He was calling me to be, the one He could enable me to be. Down the road a bit, my biggest realization was this:
It wasn’t as much that I was domestically challenged. It was more that I was discipline challenged.
I needed the Lord to develop discipline in my thinking and praying, discipline in my coming and going, and discipline in my doing and being.
The discipline in my thinking and praying involved meditating on God’s Word and talking to the Lord throughout the day. I asked Him to reveal any flawed thought processes and replace them with biblical Truth. Doing so helped me to see that being domestic isn’t the end goal. Loving the Lord, knowing and abiding in Him, then loving others is first and foremost. Spirit led, fruit-filled actions flow from being in His presence.
“Teach me Your way, LORD, that I may rely on Your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name.” Ps 86:11, NIV
“Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.” John 17:17, NASB
It has become as necessary as breathing to consistently saturate myself in His Word and in prayer. To depend on His faithfulness and provision. The first priority is Who-to more than how-to.
The next discipline of coming and going was the most difficult for me emotionally. It involved taking what the Lord was teaching me through my time with Him and then reevaluating and reorganizing my priorities.
“Teach us to number our days carefully so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts.” Ps. 90:12, HCSB
“…urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home…” Titus 2:4 NIV
It was a messy process in many ways, but He filled me with peace as He made known the changes I needed to make in my schedule, both ministry-wise and personally. The Lord had already started the process in me a year earlier, as I let go of a leadership position in a growing ministry that I’d held within my previous church for many years. (Thankfully, they supported me to embrace my changing season as a wife and mom.) As I learned to manage my time differently, I was slowly becoming more organized with the family calendar and finances and learning how to be more efficient with social outings, trips to the grocery store and other errands. I’m amazed as I reflect on God’s provision through all of it, and how He had already started the work months before I realized what He was doing.
Last (and this is not an exhaustive list) is the ongoing work of developing discipline in my doing and being. It crosses over with the first two generally speaking, but it is still a distinct process. The Lord led me to confess and turn away from making excuses, comparing with others, justifying laziness and walking in the labels of my past so that He could teach me to walk in His identity. It’s one thing to confess the desire to change, quite another to allow Him to do it.
“Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new,” Is 43:18-19a, NASB
“In Him, we live and move and have our being…for we are His offspring.” Acts 17:28, NIV
“let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,” Heb 12:1b, NIV
God provided mutual type friendships where even now we pray for and encourage one another in this area. He also inspired ideas for improvement through the example of older women and inspiration from good books and blogs. Most importantly, He continues to strengthen me internally as I look to Him for help.
Since I’m still growing in this area, it helps to remember that when I fall short of where I want to be, the Lord loves me and wants me to depend on Him to do a unique work in His time and in His way. He cares most about my devotion to Him in the process. I guess that goes back to the beginning, though…
Do you have any labels that need replacing? Are there lies about yourself you have accepted out of habit, insecurity or lack of discipline?
My friend, let’s live in fullness of life by His grace, in Spirit and in Truth. The One who calls us is faithful, and He will surely do it (1 Thess 5:24).
LauraLee is a daughter of the King, wife of 23 years, Mama of 3 teens, mentor, writer & speaker. She longs to encourage women and young’uns to walk by faith in the Son of God more deeply in their everyday, in person and online. Download her free friendship devotional book for parents and kids to read together at http://www.scribd.com/doc/34338897/Friendship-Deedz-From-A-to-Z-by-LauraLee-Shaw. Email LauraLee at lauralee@faithcoloredglasses.com if you’d like more info on speaking for your women’s group. Her testimony can be found here: http://faithcoloredglasses.com/?p=1041
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