By Guest: Lindsey Bell
Some days, I don’t enjoy motherhood.
There. I said it.
As terrible as it makes me feel to admit this, I think a lot of mothers feel the same way.
Motherhood is a beautiful thing, and we adore our children. But there are some days when it just isn’t all that much fun. When my children are whiny, my patience is short, and it’s just plain…hard.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who ever feels this way.
Last November, after my husband and I experienced our fourth miscarriage, I realized I wasn’t enjoying motherhood anymore. I had become so focused on having another child that I neglected to enjoy the ones I already had.
Since then, I’ve thought a lot about what helps me enjoy motherhood…and what hinders me. Here are a few things that cause me to stop enjoying motherhood (and…my guess is, cause you to stop enjoying it too.)
How to Guarantee You Won’t Enjoy Motherhood:
1. Expect every day to go perfectly.
When my oldest child was about two, I opened finger paints for the first time. I couldn’t wait to experience this new activity with my son and expected it to be a great bonding time for us.
Instead, he cried from the moment I opened the paint until the moment I got all of it off his hands.
He hated it. And I felt defeated for the rest of the day.
I had such high expectations for the activity that I allowed these unmet expectations to ruin what could have still been a pleasant day.
I don’t want to squelch your positive attitude, but I do want to help you develop a more realistic one. Every day is not going to go perfectly. And if you expect it to, you are setting yourself up for failure.
On the other hand, if you expect your children to get whiny from time to time, you will be better prepared for the inevitable.
2. Don’t ever take time for yourself.
A happy and healthy woman is a happy and healthy mother.
Joyful mothers spend time with their children, yes, but they also spend time on themselves. They sleep, eat healthy, exercise, and take time to do what they love. They don’t throw their bodies on the altar of parenthood.
They continue doing things that bring joy to their hearts. They maintain friendships and hobbies.
Some things might need to be put on hold while your children are young, but that doesn’t mean everything needs to be put on hold. Don’t forget that you are not only a mother. You are also a friend, a wife, a musician, a child of the King, a writer, an artist, etc.
3. Let your marriage fade into the background.
For many of us, we were wives before we were parents. (And even if you weren’t, this advice is still for you.)
We will also be wives long after our children leave home (or at least, we hope to be).
So don’t let your marriage fade into the background of your home. Keep it as a priority, and you will be a much happier parent. After all, it’s much more fun to parent as a team than to parent alone, right?
4. Keep your phone in your hands at all times.
I know I’m touching on a sensitive subject with this one. I also know how lonely motherhood can be at times and how the Internet can seem to fill a void in your heart.
But here’s the problem with always being online. Those relationships—those ones you have online—can replace the ones you have in real life if you’re not careful.
The Internet, instead of being just something you do, can become something you need. Something you have to have. It can become an escape from reality…an addiction.
Invest in your children instead. Ask God to fill whatever void lives in your heart instead of looking to Facebook or Pinterest to fill it. Stop documenting your moments on Instagram and start enjoying them instead.
Let’s talk: What other things hinder your joy in motherhood?
About Lindsey Bell:
Lindsey Bell is the author of Searching for Sanity, a parenting devotional that will be released in January 2014. She’s also a stay-at-home mother of two, minister’s wife, avid reader, and chocolate lover. You can find Lindsey online at any of the following locations:
Her blog: www.lindsey-bell.com
Her website: www.lindseymbell.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/LindseyMBell
Facebook: www.facebook.com/AuthorLindseyBell
Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/LindseyMBell01
About Searching for Sanity:
Have you ever looked at your beloved children and wondered, what in the world am I doing? Why did God trust me—of all people—to raise them?
Motherhood is the most difficult job many of us will ever take. Searching for Sanity offers moms an opportunity to take a breath, dig into the Word, and learn from parents of the past. In short devotions designed for busy moms, this book uses the parents of the Bible—both the good and the bad—to inspire today’s mothers.
It’s coming soon, so be on the lookout!
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