Toddler Rules of Possession
author unknown
1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in anyway.
6. If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
But…
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.
Toddlers…all the same when it comes to “sharing”. Lots of moms and dads worry their child is self-centered and selfish. Well…he is. (and frankly so are we)
Egocentric beings=Human beings UNLESS we learn differently, mature, and our hearts are moved to love like Jesus. Only then can we love one another as we love ourselves. Only then can we learn to be generous. Only then can we experience sacrifice.
Developmentally a selfish, demanding toddler is right on.
He must learn to own something (Mine!) before he is able to share. Here is the potential for maturational progression you can hope to see in your child. A parent can encourage development,pray for heart growth, and allow opportunities for practice. Note: each stage must be experienced to move to the next.
Sharing Stages by Lori Wildenberg
1. It’s mine -I must own it.
2. Trade- You gimme yours, I’ll give ya’ mine. Then switch.
3. Timed sharing- You can use it for 5 minutes, then it’s mine.
4. True sharing- You can use it, just return it.
5. Generosity- Here you can have it. I have another.
6. Sacrificial Giving-You can have my last or only one.
This progression takes a person from a place of self-centeredness, to respect, to honor, and then to love. Learning to share, be generous, and to have a sacrificial spirit are character qualities to be developed in all people-both little and big.
So… don’t stop encouraging once the “sharing” characteristic is mastered-there is still more room for growth.
Adults, along with the youngsters, have traits to be developed in order to love like Jesus.
Unconditionally. Sacrificially. Completely.
Where is your young one on the continuum? Where do you land?
The greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13b
By,
Lori Wildenberg
Licensed Parent and Family Educator
Mentor MOM from TMI, co-founder of 1Corinthians13Parenting
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