Some people call me a superhero, doubly blessed. Others say I have my hands full, double trouble.
Hi, my name is Christen, and I’m a mother of twins.
Before I had children, I had heard rumors that motherhood was the most challenging and rewarding job on the face of the planet. I was the newlywed that thought I could handle the challenge of being a mom; that it couldn’t be that hard. I had illusions that the reward part of motherhood would be more often than the challenge and my children would be well behaved, athletic, musically-talented, smart, and successful from a very early age.
Now, I can imagine God and his chorus of angels laughing at my naivety. “Just you wait,” is what they were saying to each other.
Having twins has changed my life in so many ways. Here are just five ways twins can change your life:
1. The biggest lesson that I’ve learned so far from being a mother of multiples is expect the unexpected. I’m naturally a Type-A girl that likes for things to be done my way. I plan, I organize. It’s just part of my DNA. When life doesn’t go according to my plans, I usually freak out in a not so nice manner (it usually involves tears, chocolate, and a reality t.v. show…not always in that exact order). But, the twins have been God’s way of teaching me to trust in his plans, his times, his ways.
And, you know what? His plans might come as a surprise to me but he sure knows how to throw one amazing surprise party.
2. The best advice I have for any mother expecting twins is to embrace the journey. You will be different from your friends with singleton births. Your family will not always have answers to your questions. You pediatrician visits will take an extremely long time. The little old ladies at the grocery store will always ask you if they are twins. Your stroller will be bigger, you will go through more diapers, and if you have to use formula, you will cherish your $5 off coupons.
3. After my twins were home from the hospital, I wanted so desperately for life to be normal. But, I had to adapt to a new version of normal. It was really hard not to compare my children to others, especially since they were born premature. My twins were three months behind developmentally. They were still in newborn clothes at six months old and could barely crawl by the time they turned one. Their first year was so very challenging and God taught me humility; how the high expectations I set for my children before they were born were false forms of pride. Yet through the challenge of their developmentally-delayed first year, we reaped bountiful amounts of reward. Each day was truly a gift that we weren’t sure we would receive when they were born premature. Each milestone met was an abundant accomplishment; comparisons were discarded and expectations became less exaggerated. We found our normal and I was so happy it looked completely different from everyone else.
4. Another way twins have changed me for the better is I’ve realized that I need help. Bad. Before, I was much too prideful to admit that I couldn’t do this motherhood thing on my own. Asking for help has not only changed my perspective on pride, but it has also strengthened my relationship with Jesus, my husband, my family, and my friends. Daily, Jesus and my husband help me get through the day as a mom of twins. Without Jesus, I would have no peace. Without my husband, I would have no clean clothes (among other things :)) This past year, we moved back to our hometown to raise our children closer to family. I have no shame in dropping the twins off at their grandparents house so I can run errands, write, or have a date with my husband. It’s fabulous. Before I had the girls, I was very private, even with my friends. It wasn’t that I was trying to be secretive, but I didn’t always like to talk about the tough stuff. Now, I’m much more vulnerable, authentic, and open in my friendships, online and in real life. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s actually a form of strength.
5. And, mothers of twins need some strength. Especially in the toddler years. Twin toddlers has caught me completely off-balance. One goes this way, while the other goes that way. I know now where the term double trouble comes from. Keeping up with twin toddlers has been the most challenging part of motherhood for me so far. I’m emotionally and physically exhausted after our days filled with tantrums, potty-training, and fierce independence. My house is always a wreck and food always gets stolen off my plate. Naps are {almost} a thing of the past and bedtime couldn’t come any sooner. I wonder daily how I’m going to make it raising twin toddlers.
But, then my twin toddlers say how much they love me. Or, they will twirl around in their princess dress exclaiming, “I’m so happy!” They aren’t my babies anymore but they still love to cuddle in the early and late hours of the day. Watching them run, use their manners, and hug each other is the reward during this challenging stage of life.
Twins are always a double blessing and sometimes double trouble. God gives some moms twins because he believes we are up for the challenge. Or, maybe its because we need a challenge. Whatever the reason may be for the challenge, I urge you to rest in the reward; the double portion of God’s grace.
Question: If you are a mother of twins, what has been your hardest challenge and what has brought you the most reward?
Till next time, let your light shine!
Blessings, christen
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