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Is being a good mom the same as being a good wife?

From the time a child enters into a family, they can’t help but try to take over and secure their spot at the center of our world. At first, they seem so innocent and helpless, but their power to dominate slumbers like a morning nap under a mobile with a nursery rhyme. It may be years before a mom realizes that her precious children can unseat her husband’s unique place in her heart.

If we aren’t careful, children can take the place of our mate. They are a gift to a marriage union, an investment we pour into together and a joy we share as man and wife. Can our love for them become a dangerous thing?

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed” (Gen. 2:24-25).

4 Do’s of being a good wife AND mom

DO you hold fast to the right person? (Your husband, not your children)
DO you live as one flesh with the right person?
DO you know the right person?
DO you respect the right person?

It’s hard to be a good mom without being a good wife. In most cases, it’s not possible. Before a woman is a mom, God plans for her to be a wife. As a wife, she’s called to hold fast (cleave) to her man, become and then live like one flesh with him, know him intimately more than anyone else, and give her respect to him above all others.

A good mom gives her children a right view of the father and, ultimately, of The Father. She raises her child with the goal of seeing her young ones grow to responsible adulthood, to leave and live independently. The Heavenly Father plans for a day when children will leave their parents, and the husband and wife will go on as one. Moms who set out to pass on a biblical view of marriage and mothering will strive to hold fast to her mate, to nurture their oneness, to know and be known intimately, and to grow in respect as the years pass.

Our little ones would love to consume the hours in our day, the energy in our bodies, and every inch of our hearts. They have such power. Let’s set out to be good wives first, and then we’ll be better moms.

by Julie Sanders at Come Have a Peace

Check out 10 Tips for How to Keep Kids From Becoming Your Mate

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Julie Sanders

Julie Sanders and her husband just relocated from the land of sweet tea to the Inland Northwest. The mom of two college students, Julie loves mentoring women around the world, bringing justice to the vulnerable, and teaching God’s truths for life. Julie was blessed when seasoned moms walked the marriage and motherhood journey with her and is grateful “grace abounded much more” (Rom. 5:20) than her failures. She is passionate about fighting human trafficking and is the author of Expectant: 40 Devotions for New and Expectant Moms. Join Julie at Come Have a Peace, on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest, and don't miss Marriage Mondays. She invites you to contact her about speaking at your women's event or mommy meeting. www.juliesanders.org