As we enter a new year we find ourselves reflecting on where we’ve been and looking forward to where we hope to go. We make plans, develop lists and chart a course for the coming year. But what about our kids?
Do you help your children set goals and then help them fulfill them?
I remember when I was teaching my son to read more proficiently and I gave him his first real book. It was My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George. It wasn’t really a big book, but to my 7 year old son it looked ginormous! He kept saying, “How am I going to read that whole thing?!”
I looked at him and smiled and said, “One page at a time.” That’s how we live our lives. We turn one page at a time – we live one day at a time.
We fulfill our goals the same way. But how can we help our children set goals and fulfill them? What types of goals should they have?
Here are 5 ways to help your kids set and fulfill their goals:
- Help them look back and see some areas of need. Does their room stay a mess? Do they struggle with patience, unkind words or bad attitudes? Do they start things they don’t finish, do things half-heartedly or not do what they should? Do they eat too much, talk too much or whine too much? Do they pray daily, read God’s Word (or if they aren’t old enough to read, do you read it to them everyday?) Do they serve others? Do they struggle with sharing, telling the truth or controlling their temper? As you help them look back you are also helping them think about their behavior and habits over the past year in a variety of different areas.
- Help them set ‘doable, a page-at-a-time’ type of goals. Like adults, they will quickly fall under the weight of a goal much bigger than themselves. Help them make small goals and every time they fulfill that goal, help them set another one until the ultimate goal is met. If it’s a specific amount of books to read or chapters in the Bible, set daily goals. When they see they can accomplish that, set weekly goals…then monthly. Soon they will see they can accomplish their goals when they stick to them. If it’s a bad attitude or unkind words and their goal is to eliminate them from their behavior, start by setting a daily goal of maintaining a good attitude and refraining from unkind words. Then stretch that timeframe to three days, then a week. If it’s an incessantly messy room, do the same. Let them see that every day they are victorious, they are successfully fulfilling their goals.
- Teach them failure is never final. We all fail. Every one of us has been on a diet and then somehow found ourselves in a closet with a handful of Oreos in one and and a half gallon of ice cream in the other. We’ve all failed. Your children need to understand that even if they fail, they can start over and take positive steps toward their goal one day at a time. Failure teaches us what it means to persevere. It teaches us how to have mercy on others when they fail. It reminds us that failure is just another opportunity to start over.
- Let them know you are supporting them without doing it for them. Teaching our children to set goals and fulfill them is kind of like teaching them to ride a bike. We run with them, holding onto them all the way until we see they can do it on their own and then we let go. They may fall, but when they do, we help them get back up on the bike, we run with them again and then we watch them soar! The goal isn’t to run beside them the whole time. The goal is to teach them to do it on their own and then stand back and watch them soar!
- Celebrate their victories. Children need to know you’re proud of them, but more than that, they need to learn what it’s like to be proud of themselves. I don’t mean ‘proud’ as in ‘arrogant’ – but that feeling of accomplishment that comes with knowing they set their heart on doing something. They worked hard. Maybe even sacrificed. But they did it! Hearing that sweet little voice saying, “Look Mommy! I did it!” will not only make your heart melt, but it will strengthen theirs.
Perhaps you need to help your children set spiritual goals (like reading 1 chapter a day, memorizing 1 verse a week or journaling their way through the Word).
Or you might feel you need to help them set organizational goals (like getting assignments done on time, keeping their room clean or being on time).
You may even want to help them set behavioral goals (like refraining from lying or saying unkind words, or dealing with self control or an ill temper).
Or maybe you need to help them set physical goals (like exercise 30 minutes a day, make wise food choices, restrict their sugar intake or brush their teeth twice a day).
Setting and fulfilling goals is as important for children as it is for adults. Remember, if you aim for nothing, you’ll hit it every time…and so will you’re children.
What goals have you helped your children make this year? How do you help them fulfill their goals?
- Ch…ch…ch…CHANGES Are Coming in 2017 for TMI - December 27, 2016
- What New Thing Are You Ready to See God Do in Your Life in 2017? - December 26, 2016
- Heaviness and Newness - December 23, 2016
