By Guest: Matt Patterson
I have to say – there are not many things in this world better than being a father.
To be called Dad, Daddy, Pops, Padre and even in those rare moments – Big Fella. The list could go on and on. Please… feel free to add your own!
It is a beautiful calling.
When I think of fatherhood, I also have to say that there are two words that quickly come to mind.
Servant.
Leader.
A servant and a leader protect his family. He provides – materially and spiritually for his wife and little ones. And what I believe is perhaps, the most important, servants and leaders are willing to say, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘forgive me’ to his family.
Believe me; my wife and daughters have heard these words more than I care to admit. I mention in my book, My Emily that I don’t claim to be an expert on faith or fatherhood. I’m just Matt, a very simple man. I’m so blessed to be a dad and boy, do I love my girls!
First-Time Father
Our little Emily was our first-born. As with any couple, there was so much excitement surrounding the birth of our baby. There was humor and heartbreak with Emily’s arrival. At the height of delivery, I made an embarrassing, yet humorous Boo-Boo.
From My Emily:
I have to admit with my enthusiasm and preoccupation of having a boy I did make a mistake at the height of delivery.
With our hands clasped, I continued to coach Bonnie.
“Breathe. Push. Breathe. Push.” I had this coaching thing down pat.
As Bonnie continued to breathe and push, I began to see the crown of the head. The shoulders and torso quickly followed.
“It’s a boy!” I belted out.
The nurse quickly advised me, “Uh, Mr. Patterson – that’s the umbilical cord. You have a baby girl.”
My quick (and embarrassed) response to them was, “Um, I knew that. Yeah, I knew that.” The red face might have been a giveaway that I really didn’t.
I say it took only two, maybe three seconds to recover from my oversight and begin the celebration with my wife on the arrival of our beautiful daughter. We were overcome with such a massive amount of emotion, gratitude and pride.
After the initial celebratory phone calls to friends and family, we would learn the following morning that Emily had Down syndrome. Although there was the initial shock and dismay, we truly felt blessed to have her. Always with smiles and kisses, this little angel won over hearts immediately.
Just two years later, on my birthday, a routine trip to the emergency room for a fever brought the diagnosis of leukemia. Despite all the treatments and pain, her unconditional love for anyone and everyone was constant. Her time with us on earth was short, but to this very day, she teaches so many people that we are all truly children of God.
Father-to-Father Relationships
I’m a firm believer that our relationships with our earthly fathers affect the connection to our Heavenly Father.
I would think those who know me and my father best would say we’re complete polar opposites.
I’m tall. He’s short.
He’s tough. I cry.
I could do this all day!
My father and I have a wonderful relationship. It grows each and every day. My father isn’t a spiritual man by most standards, but he has made sure I have had every opportunity to learn and grow spiritually. He helped cultivate the connection I have today with my spiritual father.
I want to leave a legacy for my daughters. There are days and moments I fail miserably. I think as parents we know our little ones are watching us, listening to us and in some scary moments, imitating us. They’re not with us very long. It’s my hope and prayer I will do enough to cultivate that connection for them as well.
Reaching Out For the Hand of God
Many people ask me how my journey with my daughter forced me to reach out for the hand of God.
Simply put, I had nowhere else to go.
From My Emily:
Our lives, as short as they may be, are a test. And one of the biggest tests we can endure is how we respond to those moments when we don’t feel the presence of God in our lives. I believe deeply that one of God’s greatest gifts is to teach us there is a purpose behind every single one of our trials or problems.
Treat them as a gift, an opportunity to move forward and draw closer to God. Problems often times compel us to look to God and count on him, rather than ourselves.
There is a moment in the book where – on an Air Force medical evacuation aircraft – I share how Emily looked at me through a maze of medical tubes and lines and at that moment, I felt I was going to watch her die right before my eyes.
I reached out for the hand of God.
I also relate how rocking Emily to sleep each night was such an escape from all that’s cruel in the world. It was our time together – each and every night. My final night with Emily – in the intensive care unit – I rocked her to sleep one last time.
I again reached out for the hand of God.
Each of us – both, fathers and mothers – will have these moments. The question is: Will we reach out? What’s it going to take to make you reach out? If we do, when will we reach out?
God is Good – Really, Really Good
I just want to convey that in even in our darkest days – God is good.
You can open your heart to him. It can be in sadness, happiness and even anger. You can let Him have it. He wants you to. He wants open, honest and real communication. He loves us. He wants us to come to Him. It’s then we find out that He is good. And I mean really, really good.
It’s my belief that each of us grieve differently. For example, I’ve always wanted to share Emily’s story, but was I ready to minister and comfort others some 20 years ago? Heck, 20 months ago? I’d have to say no. Now that I have a better understanding of the grieving process, I can truly say my passion to share Emily’s story and help others is at a level that’s truly difficult to quantify. It becomes very personal and emotional some days. There are still days when I need to lean on those closest to me for support and comfort. Sometimes, all we need to be is a shoulder for someone. There have been times I was that shoulder, but in actuality, they were being mine as well.
A Beautiful Calling, Indeed
As we approach and celebrate Father’s Day, let us both – fathers and mothers remember what a beautiful calling we have as parents.
Take a moment to pull each of your children aside in a quiet place. Look them in the eyes and tell them how much they mean to you. Tell them how much you love them.
Hug them.
Hug them tight.
To make sure they remember your heart-felt words, may I make a suggestion to the “Padres” and “Big Fellas” out there? Take a few moments to write (not type) each of your children a letter. Pour out your heart to them. It will be a keepsake that they will cherish.
May all the “Pops” out there have a marvelous Father’s Day and keep the wonderful responsibility you are blessed with close to your heart.
A native of Baltimore, Maryland, Matt Patterson is a professional speaker, as well as an award-winning and best-selling author.
His first published work – My Emily – has been a #1 Amazon best seller. It received recognition in 2012 as an award winner and finalist in the Readers Favorite Book Reviews & Awards Contest, the Next Generation Indie Book Awards, and the National Indie Excellence Book Awards.
Matt’s background includes 20-plus years in marketing communications, public and media relations, as well as print and broadcast journalism.
In addition to speaking and writing, he volunteers his time to helping organizations and charities dedicated to assisting families with children who have special needs or those battling pediatric cancers.
To learn more about Matt and how you can bring him to speak at your next event or conference, please go to www.mattpatterson.me or www.my-emily.com.
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